And Gladly Would She Learn, And Gladly Teach’: Appreciation Of Yasmine Gooneratne

My Mother, Yasmine Gooneratne, passed away on Thursday night this week. She was 88 years old, having been born in 1935.

Emeritus Professor Yasmine was an academic, a scholar, a researcher, a creative writer and a teacher. She was an exemplary and meticulous student at the Universities of Peradeniya and Cambridge, as well as an encouraging and inspiring teacher at the University of Peradeniya and Macquarie University in Sydney. She is internationally renowned, for her contributions and her insights into literature, especially the literatures of South Asia and Australia.

This is what is well known about this lady who is called a trailblazer and a writer of renown. She is part of a generation which produced some towering figures who are regarded as icons.

Yasmine Gooneratne as a private individual left very clear instructions about what she wished, regarding her funeral. Her directives show a great deal about her character and her values. ‘No public notices. No public viewing. No public funeral. No memorial lectures. No fuss. No feathers. No posturing. No performativeness. No photographers. No selfies. No celebrities. No nonsense.’
Arranging such an event in contemporary Sri Lanka is quite a challenge! Cultural traditions are part of what make our society hold together, in a disrupted world. But although her position is sometimes described by younger writers as monumental, her attitudes are open minded, fresh thinking and often challenging of norms and accepted beliefs. She was characteristically very tactful, and restrained, but she was also a person who had strong convictions, and intense likes and dislikes. Her enthusiasm for new discoveries was an exhilarating experience to witness.

On a personal level, she had great contempt for hypocrisy, and cruelty. She had a great sense of humour and a lively sense of fun. But as she was a person of moral integrity, the repulsive conduct of people who prey upon the vulnerable saddened her, especially as she grew older. While always wanting and choosing to believe the best in people, she found herself unable to accept even in tolerance the lies that are spun by opportunists and predators on a daily basis. Her good opinion, once lost, was lost forever.

The darkening landscape of the world we live in was often remedied for her by music, art, the joy of beautifully made films and the beauty and versatility of literature. She read to my brother and me when we were children, and the great stories from the Mahabharata and childrens’ classics like 101 Dalmatians were thus introduced to us in the best way possible: through the loving and expressive voice of our mother.

Yasmine Gooneratne was a wonderful cook, and an enthusiastic concert goer and ballroom dancer. She beamed with approval on romantic love, and believed in the renewing and reviving effect of love on the human psyche: considering the transformative experience of falling in love to be one of the closest approximations available to us of the divine.

She was a generous person, in every way: generous with sharing her great knowledge with students and emerging writers, as a mentor. Generous in welcoming guests to our home. Generous in extending grace to broken people - her compassion was inherited by my brother, one of the most compassionate people we ever knew.

She did not judge people on external factors. She did not look down on uneducated people. She was uninterested in people’s assumptions about her, often launched by people who had issues and grievances with people from elite or elevated backgrounds. But she believed that people should try to develop themselves, in every situation in life. She shared with my Father the belief that life was a great adventure, and I believe that part of the reason for their wonderful marriage lasting 60 years of their lives is that shared certainty. They each chose a wonderful companion in the adventure, and actively participated in each other’s soul growth.

Of course I am biased, because I know her very well, and knew her close up. But I want to say that even if I was not her child, or related to her, I would still find her endlessly interesting. Because of her impatience with cliches and lazy thinking, her conversation was one of the highlights of my life.

I take the opportunity to thank Yasmine Gooneratne for her outstanding dedication and commitment to every task she undertook. She was whole hearted, in every thing she did. She rose to the challenges she was faced with, and uplifted many who knew her by doing so.

She was a resonant role model whose impact only grows with the years.

Her initials were M.Y. Gooneratne. And we were proud to call her ours. But her work belongs to everyone who appreciates it.

Responsible Reporting Required

Sexual and reproductive awareness is essential for the health of all human beings, but it is often neglected or stigmatized in Sri Lanka. This problem is not just measured in the large numbers of women and girls suffering menstrual poverty, unwanted pregnancies, and sexually transmitted diseases. It also includes the psychosocial aspect of sexual health: specifically, the vulnerability of people to sexual abuse.

For example, a recent newspaper article misleadingly framed a rise in the rates of statutory rape as ‘rape with consent’. This terminology is confusing, suggesting that rape, which is an act of violation and assault, can be consented to by a victim. The statistics cited in the article illustrate the flaws of the outdated laws that are applied in such cases. Statutory rape is a serious offence that violates the rights and dignity of all victims, especially children and adolescents, and can cause long-term physical, psychological, and social impacts on them.

Sri Lanka clearly needs to adopt a more holistic approach regarding sexual activity between two adolescents. We need to make significant changes in the current system to prevent misconduct and address the problems of ignorance and stigmatization of sexual conduct more effectively. It is crucial to share relevant information among the stakeholders who are called on to intervene and inform in these incidents, such as police, social workers, doctors, and health staff who attempt to assist and support adolescents and their families. Better informed contextual support could reduce the harm done by the blanket criminalization of some clauses in the penal code. Doctors and health workers need to enhance their knowledge and skills regarding how to identify, treat, and refer cases of sexual abuse, especially among young patients.

Medical and health personnel also need to be more comprehensively trained in situational sensitivity: on how to build trust and obtain relevant information from adolescent victims of sexual abuse, to provide them with a better quality of service. It is important to create a safe and supportive environment for survivors of sexual abuse, where they can disclose their experiences without fear of stigma, blame, or retaliation. Stakeholders should respect their confidentiality, autonomy, and choices, and provide them with information and options.

It is also important for survivors to access other services that can help them, such as therapy, legal assistance, and community support. As citizens, we all need to advocate for legal reform to combat sexual and gender-based violence, and to protect the rights of survivors. It is necessary to reform the laws that allow marital rape, that punish consensual sexual activity between adolescents, and that disproportionately focus on the victim’s character or sexual history in rape trials, misdirecting the legal system away from the misconduct of the perpetrators.

There is a significant gap in knowledge about sexual health among Sri Lankan people. People are traditionally brought up to often feel ashamed about sexual matters. We need to challenge outdated cultural myths in 2023, and empower teachers and educators to convey the message that sexuality is far more than the act of sex. Sexual feelings emerge in a context, which encompasses the biological and psychosocial aspects of each human. There are cultural and religious barriers to sex education and awareness in Sri Lanka, but the more we destigmatise sexuality, gender identity, and related topics, the more our society will become more comfortable and safe for everyone.

In the recent newspaper article about the number of rape cases in which the survivors ‘gave consent’, it is clear that when the police classify rape as rape with consent, they may actually mean rape with coercion. This might be a case of nuances being lost in translation. Coerced, when translated to Sinhala, means forced.

A person's free, informed, and willing consent to participate in a sexual act should serve as the foundation for defining rape and sexual assault in legal terms; this consent must be weighed against the context of the incident. This requires considering a wide range of exploitative scenarios, with a special focus on power, authority and control relationships, weaker position exploitation, and situations requiring trust, influence, and dependence in particular. It is important to realize that consent cannot be sincere, voluntary, or willing when coercive conditions are present, or when positions of vulnerability or dependency are taken advantage of, and that engaging in sexual activity is not an expression of one's free will or choice, especially for a child.

Sri Lankan culture tends to infantilise youth, and keep them ignorant of the dangers of the modern world, in a bid to protect them, especially with the onset of technology, and the widespread impact of social media. Unfortunately, this lack of preparation means that young people often engage in unsafe online relationships, unaware of the character or motives of the people they are connecting with.

What the children think is natural communication is strategic on the part of the other party, and spills over from online virtual reality into real life. The damage is then done physically and psychologically: the children’s ignorance makes them vulnerable. The predators know this. So the cycle continues. It can only be stopped when education empowers the children, and disempowers abusers.

Children get groomed by sexual predators. And unfortunately Sri Lankan children growing up often in the extended family context, in which they are brought up to trust older people, are vulnerable to this unlawful behaviour. Grooming is when the predator builds a friendship, trust, and emotional connection with a child or young person in order to manipulate, take advantage of, and abuse them. Grooming exposes children and teens to sexual abuse, exploitation, and trafficking.

Prosecuting child sexual assault is difficult for a number of reasons. Survivors could experience shame and remorse, be terrified of reprisals, or be hesitant to come forward. Children may also not be able to express their experiences or completely understand them. They may not even know that what happened to them was wrong. There may not be enough evidence of a kind which can be produced in court, because abuse frequently takes place in secret, making it challenging to obtain solid proof. Young victims may also find legal procedures intimidating, and the difficulty of prosecution might be aggravated by societal views against talking about such delicate subjects. A fearful child will often feel threatened by any questioning of details of a traumatic event, as each question will feel like a personal attack.

This is why when addressing child abuse, trauma-informed questioning and data collecting are essential. It entails using techniques that take into account the possible effects of trauma on a child's capacity for accurate detail recall and communication. The goal of this strategy is to minimize the possibility of recurrent trauma, while encouraging openness by creating a secure and encouraging environment. Data acquired via trauma-informed methods is more likely to be trustworthy and can help improve the child's support and intervention.

Unfortunately, in the context of contemporary Sri Lanka, children who are victims of sexual abuse and who are brave enough to report their experiences continue to be retraumatised, due to the lack of awareness and empathy from their school teachers and counsellors, who tell them to tolerate and show respect to adults, to stay silent due to the shame it brings on the family, and that the adult ‘cannot be wrong.’

From the support team of investigators, to the medical officers to police officers, focused training is urgently needed so that when incidents occur in which intervention is required, investigating officers are sensitive to the fear, suspicion and trauma the child is feeling and experiencing, and the mental upheaval the child is working through.

We forget that these young people have been betrayed by family who they trusted. How should they behave when members of their trusted family circle have exploited them and made them ‘the guilty party’? The advice from the internet is at variance with their family context.

In addition, we continue to find reasons to make them the ‘problem child’ in each of these stories, relieving ourselves of any accountability or blame so that we ourselves can sleep at night, feeling safe at home.

The first question most often heard in cases of child abuse is: 'Are you sure it’s really happening?' The victim is often disbelieved, as it is almost a default defense mechanism for adults to believe the child is lying. We would prefer to believe that, instead of being confronted by the picture the statistics portray: that we are living among so many monsters who could hurt and continue to betray an innocent child.

Victims of abuse are often further dismissed and belittled by officers within the system of justice, as this direct victim statement illustrates:

‘Throughout my time giving statements and going through the JMO, they always altered what I would say to suit the image they wanted to present of me.

When describing my abuse, I had to change my language and the way I described things because they want me to talk like I was an innocent kid. They didn't like the fact tht I would use the biological names for body parts. They would make me re-say it with the innuendos children use.

Even what I wore during the incident was questioned.

They kept asking if I was wearing pants.

Even though I kept saying it was a skirt.

They tried to pass off a lot of his behaviour as ‘fatherly’ even when it came to the point of him saying he wanted to have sex with me amd not my mum.

And through the process, I would be called a liar, and when I refused to answer things I'm not comfortable with, they would say "Yes, ofc, don't ask her, she doesn't know anything.” ‘

It is more and more obvious to those of us working in the sphere of GBV, and assisting survivors of domestic violence, and survivors of abuse, that most of the perpetrators are also victims who have normalised this behaviour through their life, and continue to ignore and normalise sexual abuse in their later lives.

To disrupt the generational damage caused by this dysfunctional dynamic, we must take action as a community to raise awareness to protect our children and young people. The print and digital newspapers with the highest circulation in the country, and all reporting journalists in the media, have an important role to play in this, to inform themselves and their readers in a responsible way, to prevent the dissemination of misinformation.