The J Word

‘Tis the season to be jolly, right? But that’s not the ‘J’ word we are looking at today. There’s a great weight of Judgmentalism that Colombo types impose on each other. And it literally kills the Christmas vibe, which should be all about love, forgiveness and compassion. What is the cause of this terrible character flaw that seems to be a national trait, despite the teachings of Buddhism, Christianity, Islam and Hinduism, alike? Why is it that so many people in this island are so quick to judge and brutalise each other, by assuming the worst of everyone?


Colombo is full of poisonous old aunties - of all genders. Which group are the worst? Probably the frustrated 60 and over ladies, who used to be lovely when they were young, but have not aged gracefully.


Having to deal with philandering husbands, ungrateful children and false friends has left them feeling bitter and betrayed. Dealing with the everyday frustrations of life also makes them sour and cynical. And any hope for the future has cumulatively dwindled away, as the years increase.


As for the younger crowd, the ‘not so fabulous forties’, the materialistic values to which they subscribe make them shallow and competitive. It’s a veritable jousting match of designer labels and conspicuous consumption, which not only illustrates their bad taste but is actually an insensitive and obscene display, in a society where so many are underprivileged.


The image we prefer to have of ourselves is of smiling, easygoing islanders, always up for a good time. But speak to the younger people, in their twenties and thirties, all queuing up to seek a better life elsewhere, and they will say it’s not only economic betterment they are looking for, but a less judgmental, critical and punishing social milieu.



The mindset of tearing people down, cutting them down to size, and putting them in their place is a vicious one, and psychologists say that the people who display it are themselves the product of a harsh and critical environment, where they always felt harassed and got at, and not encouraged or supported. The negative comments people routinely make, whether malicious, or unthinking, are often traumatic for the recipient. And if they do not recognize that, and choose better in their own actions, they will perpetuate the damage.


Of course, judgmental people have terrible relationship difficulties. They are so busy saying no one measures up to their high standards that they see no good in anyone, don’t acknowledge anyone’s effort, and are utterly ungrateful. This makes them their own worst enemy, as people move away from them, feeling uncomfortable and oppressed in their company.


This Christmas season, let us try to overcome the tendency we have to see the worst in ourselves and each other, which is at the heart of Judgmentalism. Let us give each other the grace of wholehearted acceptance. It’s a gift that really keeps on giving.

Above and Beyond

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew, 

Dr. Lakmal Konara (Regional Epidemiologist, Ratnapura)

The doctors in the public health system throughout Sri Lanka deserve to be recognised and commended. Not only for their dedication in study, their hard won qualifications, and the conditions of stress and emergency in which they often work, but - particularly during this pandemic - for their heroic commitment to the community, which is highlighted by the global crisis which has been unfolding for the past 18 months.

The public hospitals are staffed by dedicated, skilled but overworked, stressed and undersupported medical personnel. Public donations have successfully been raised by community groups both international and local to provide much needed facilities and equipment. During the ongoing Covid pandemic, this generosity has also been ongoing, in parallel.

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew, 

Mr. Upali Ranasinghe (Health Education officer, RDHS office, Kegalle)

However, the pandemic has shown us that the regional hospitals do not receive the level of recognition, support and financial assistance that the hospitals in Colombo do. Doctors throughout the country have shared the following pictures on social media, to highlight the extraordinary practical lengths to which medical staff have been prepared to go, to assist the citizens of Sri Lanka, to get vaccinated and receive the protective care they need.

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew,

Wariyapola MOH office

We see doctors and nurses in full PPE, travelling on trucks, climbing rocky terrain with their equipment and gear in backpacks, crossing rivers and streams on ferries, or on foot crossing on stepping stones, even crossing improvised bridges made of tree trunks in forest land, and wading through metre high water during floods.

The physical and emotional resilience required to act in this dedicated way when their skill is needed is highlighted every day by the work of these medical staff. Their team spirit and enthusiasm are evident in the pictures.

Living in the more urbanized areas of the country, city dwellers are often unaware of how remote and inaccessible rural housing can be. People who are elderly, less agile or chronically ill need medical care that is delivered to them at home.

The humanity of this commitment is a welcome feature of the bleak pandemic landscape. As the country now moves forward, out of the worst part of the pandemic, as a result of the outstanding dedication of medical professionals, army personnel and the citizens of the country to the vaccination process, we should continue to recognize and respect the exemplary performance of our regional doctors and nurses, most of whom have families and young children at home, and who have risked their own family lives and personal safety to support us at this time.

Neluwa, Galle

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew

As we near the beginning of the third year of the pandemic, it’s a good idea to take a look at what we have learned.

Throughout the world, the human race has experienced a lot of loss: the unimaginable and unrecoverable loss of loved ones, the disruption of job security, the anxiety of financial instability, and the undermining of our personal peace of mind. We have all in our own ways been forced to confront our personal vulnerabilities.

The onset of the Delta variant, before a large proportion of any society had the chance to be fully vaccinated, was devastating.

Professor Priyamvada Gopal recently asked on her Facebook platform:

‘Why is it so hard to meditate on the possible immediacy of one's own passing? Every morning now brings an update about someone's sudden death, and yet it's so hard to conceptualise one's own. That bizarre sense that untimely death happens to other people is very difficult to overcome.’

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew,

Dr. Prasad Weerasinghe (MOH office Neluwa, near Galle)

My family have lost members during the past two years, although not to Covid. Of course, I have been trying to process the huge impact of this. I have been remembering Ursula Le Guin, one of my favourite writers, who portrayed death as a country just past the dry stone wall, which divides the living and those who have passed. And this life is a testing ground. And at some point, all bets will be off, and all debts cancelled.

And in a way, the collective inevitability of death could prompt us to prepare for it. Medical technology and its advances had made us believe we were almost indomitable. But we are now shown that it’s best to clarify and simplify our lives. Death makes us prioritize what matters most to us.

I suggest that, with each loss, we lose a barrier against the fear of our own death. That separating wall becomes permeable, and the reality of yourself crossing it becomes clearer and not remote. Death will never again be something I am personally detached from.

But life is for the living. That’s not just a truism. There’s a liminal transitional space and then - a gradual adjustment. I have learned that it’s something that can be prepared for, even if the loss takes you by surprise at first. I agree with the people who comfort the bereaved by pointing out that it’s inevitable. So facing that fact, which is true for all of us, isn’t life itself more to be valued? While we are still capable of responding to it?

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew,

Laggala-Pallegama MOH office

Death puts a full stop on our lives. Or a pause, depending on what you believe. But our universal human superpower is the capacity to adapt, and use the resources available to us to survive even the most adverse of situational circumstances. There has not been a better opportunity, I believe, in our lifetimes, to develop these transformational perspectives, than the opportunity this crisis has presented to us.

The Covid 19 virus and its variants will be confronting us into next year, and very possibly into 2023 as well. The support we extend now to our medical professionals and those in our communities who are vulnerable, whether through financial hardship, age, health issues or economic displacement, will need to be sustained regularly throughout this period, to be effective.

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew,

Weligepola MOH office

We will need to go deeper into our personal resources, both materially and psychologically, to adapt to this ongoing and developing situation. It helps greatly to recognise that such crises can stimulate our growth and improve our strengths and capabilities, both on a personal and a societal level.

Like the doctors and medical personnel who go above and beyond in their professional dedication, all of us in our own lives can extend ourselves to navigate this harrowing time - and become stronger and more resilient and skilled than we had previously thought possible.

Image Credit: Dr. Ashwini De Abrew,

Weligepola MOH office Dr Chinthaka Samarajeewa (Vaccination at Yatiyanthota MOH area)

Disproportionate Experiences

It’s what we focus on that we make significant.

We can drive ourselves mad

By zooming in on the brutal brevity of human joy;

our small quota, what we are stingily allowed.
In comparison to the extended ordeals

of fear and regret, and sorrow.

But we are the filters and curators:

the discriminators and discerners

of our own life experiences.

In our own hand is the power.

I know this, now.



I can dwell on the assault at the age of 4.

The betrayal of trust at the life stage when a child is just individuating,

or the unexpected swell and surge

of desire, that I slowly allowed myself

years later when I could separate it out.



I could decide to leach away the shock and the shame

And leave only the joy and the innocence that eventually washed clean.

I could winnow the harvest

with the wisdom

Of an agriculturalist’s hand.

I could choose to cut away the smoke;

shatter the mirrors;

be only the pure flame.



Someone told me once that he had discovered the cure for depression:

That he had observed his sister

Torture herself by placing too much significance on the things that hurt her.

And the impact that had.



So, he suggested we all do the opposite:

Take every shard of happiness

And expand it till it fills us up.

And no sorrow can enter

Or occupy any space we do not allocate.

Out in the open

I’ve seen a lion throw his head back and roar to ensure maximum amplification

The lionesses mainly concern themselves with the silent skill of hunting, to ensure the survival of all.
But in 1991, a black girl in a white tracksuit
stood in a sports arena
And didn’t pussyfoot around those high notes
that are hard to reach
It was like she was unleashing a torrent of energy,
like a bright fountain of song.
You could see the muscles in her out-thrust neck. There’s so much more power where that came from.

And again, just last week, a young girl with her hair braided in a coronet flecked with gold and a coat
colored like the sun itself
Poured cleansing words into the public space, to purify the contested place
Where small proud boys had created
A shambles: bringing shame down on themselves in front of their own ancestors and their own race.


It’s unmasked, now: what breeds about the heart, the ugly beliefs under the ‘be best’ slogans and the ordinary amities of the fearful disinherited. Those lovely ladies making home made jam; these corporate warriors, now retired; their husbands all deciding who was overrunning the land, and who should not be seen or heard, or take up a position which can legitimately be admired.

Poets discuss the young sun queen, whose words lit a pyre and also carried forward a torch. CNN released a transcript afflicted with errors , so it was difficult to decipher the true meaning from the words themselves.

There was an image of an upward climb, through hardship to a desired summit – and no need for rappelling, because the climb was in the mind and the upbuilding sequences of the words. Serrated, and serried, each part igniting flares to light the way for the next. Each word, briefly unmasked, was robed in its own vivid, solid colour, and gloved in an elegance befitting winter.

The colours were on the inside too; woven in with the content of their character. Such a solace, after so many years of hollow surface.

Burnished women, brazen with ambition,
embodiments of aspiration. But it is the work
done in the quiet of night, alone, sifting
through the not so good thoughts and words

thrown at them as children

that make these public spectacles more than
what meets the eye.

Transitional Spaces

There’s a hotel in the centre of Sydney which to me feels like the lobby of heaven itself. It was designed from the structure of the old General Post Office Building. And the grainy, honey sandstone, integrated shards of the walls are now intersticed with metal, and pierced with glass.

I haven’t seen it since 2019, but I still dream of it. I remember when it first opened, it reminded me of Venice. The glass roofs with the sun pouring through, the marble tiles, the staircases and internal bridges.

The restaurant, with its sheer, voluptuous green glass platters, served the most wonderful array of breakfasts that you could sit at for hours. Yoghurts and butters in tubs of ice, carafes of fresh fruit juices, all kinds and textures and forms of breads, individual omelette chefs, eggs available in all ways, jams and honeys of all kinds in small glass jars, Chinese congee in bowls with ladles, Scandinavian meats and pates, French pastries, coffee of all varieties, berries blue and red and purple.

At dusk, the lamps were lit, with the glass magically turning soft and radiant instead of hard and sparkling as it was during the day. It was enchanting to know that the fairy lights were on in Hyde Park, just a few hundred metres away.

This hotel became a transitional place for me. I moved countries 8 years ago, shifting restlessly between polarities and hemispheres, a dual citizen. Friendships waned and crested, during those years. Belief systems altered, and biases were challenged, and eroded. Frayed endings were tied up, or cut away.

And I contemplated these disruptive events from an ensconced position, a place of solace, in the modern Tower section, with the old clock tower measuring the time above us all.

The hotel itself changed its name, acquired by a new franchise. Terror attacks and the pandemic intervened to prevent my regular returns.

But in the landscape of the mind, I trace the contours of this space, which held me safe while my worlds spun and transformed.

It made a difference to my optimism, that the jagged impact of human chaos and global uncertainty could be remedied with human excellence. The harsh scraping serratedness, that feeling of having one too few protective layers of skin, was soothed by the trademark Heavenly Bed, whose mattress was superbly woven, and had square cushions, and bolsters, as well as pillows. There was an option to not have your sheets changed the next morning, if you wanted to save the planet. The texture of the sheets was smooth, with the softness of T-shirts.

The danger was always to overdose on big screen TV, and oversleep, and miss breakfast, which would be such a loss. Whatever chaos and insanity was being wrought in the world outside the glorious ramparts of soaring glass and iron and sandstone, the act of breakfasting in a leisurely way, without any disturbance at all, with sun pouring down through glass, was its perfect antidote.

Public Awareness Key to Ending Gender Based Violence

On the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women I want to take a look at what progress has been made in raising our awareness as a community about the Gender Based Violence (GBV) that women, girls and children experience in this country.

For a year, the End Sexual Violence Now (ESVN) campaign has been raising awareness of the different aspects of violence via Facebook and Instagram. We have sought to expand our understanding of the term beyond physical assault and battery – which are visible and can be documented with photographs – to verbal abuse, intrusive questioning, objectification, disrespect of personal boundaries, workplace harassment, body shaming, erosion of consent, offensive categorizations and stereotyping. Words lead to actions and both words and actions are caused by, and affirm, beliefs. If these words and actions and their damaging impact are to change, the underlying beliefs must first be challenged and transformed.

The ESVN campaign has showcased instances of harassment of all kinds with videos, interviews, documentaries, advertisements and news items, including the internalized misogyny of women that results in them tearing down and disrespecting other women via interviews and social media commentary. The belittling of women in this way normalizes disrespect and devaluation and causes the creation of a culture that underestimates, degrades and dismisses women. This normalization is itself an act of violence and it underlies and perpetuates violence.

The term being given to the rise in domestic violence and abuse during the enforced lockdowns and closures necessitated by the Covid-19 pandemic is the Shadow Pandemic. This term refers to the often hidden and far greater impact that domestic violence has had on women. Societal structures and cultural norms mean that women are relegated to the domestic sphere and have to stay domiciled with men who perpetrate violence on them and their children.

Jessica Palden is making a documentary called Teardrop On Fire, which explores GBV and its impact on Sri Lanka. It is based on interviews with people who have directly experienced GBV and activists and journalists seeking to highlight the problem.

In an interview, Jessica speaks about GBV and its impact in Sri Lanka.

What progress has been made in raising public awareness of GBV?

Since the start of the #metoo movement, women all over the world have been coming out publicly and sharing their stories of abuse. As with all social justice movements, the use of social media platforms has been integral in the virality and momentum of these movements. In the past five years that I’ve lived in Sri Lanka, I’ve witnessed first hand the solidarity and uprising happening amongst women, girls and male allies who have started many initiatives to push back and break the silence. It’s uplifting and inspiring.

Are people realizing that verbal, psychological and emotional abuse also constitute violence?

Yes, absolutely. There has been a concerted effort to engage therapists, counselors and psychologists in these discussions, and so much education around the complex cycle of abuse and trauma is being actively disseminated. Sometimes, though, this information is being consumed by those people who are in it, not necessarily by the people who need to hear it. The ignorant turn a blind eye to topics of abuse because it would go against their self interest to engage or learn about these topics because in doing so they would lose their power. The patriarchy doesn’t have empathy.

Do you include in the term the patriarchy women who have internalized misogyny and withhold empathy and support from women who are subject to GBV?

Women have internalized misogyny as a survival tactic. It’s how they’ve been able to climb up the ladder of success into the good old boys’ club.

What inspired you to make Teardrop On Fire?

I have my own personal backstory of abuse. I’m a survivor of domestic intimate partner violence. My abuse happened in Sri Lanka with a Sri Lankan man. So it’s in the Sri Lankan cultural context that I understand abuse. Of course abuse is a universal problem but how it manifests in every culture is slightly different. When I started my path to healing, once I had gone ‘no contact’ with my abuser and started therapy, I found that reaching out to other victims and survivors to share my story was incredibly empowering. I felt heard. I felt I mattered and that my story mattered. After being gaslighted for four years, and told I was crazy and ignored by everyone in his family and community anytime I spoke about my abuse, it really wore me down into a shell of my former self. There is so much shame around the topic of abuse. So much silence. No one wants to address it. No one wants to hear about it. I was told countless times by his family members to just smile and be happy. After a beating! With a black eye! To just smile and put on a happy face. The abuse is so normalized. It’s really frightening. I don’t blame his family. They don’t know better. It’s just their reality, their culture. And even my abuser I can’t blame because he too is a victim of the cycle of abuse. Hurt people hurt people. I don’t condone his behavior but I can somehow feel empathy and understand where it stems from. I think there is a huge issue of underlying and untreated mental illness as well that compounds and complicated the issue. So I decided to champion the cause and use the medium of documentary film to help educate and empower women and girls in Sri Lanka to overcome their experiences of trauma and abuse. I thought if I could give a platform for victims and survivors to break their silence, they could feel heard and take that brave first step by sharing their stories. The film is a kind of therapy for me and the subjects. We bonded. We came together in solidarity. It was really moving to witness their courage, and I’m humbled that they trusted me with their experiences.

Men to you are not the enemy. What beliefs form your perspective?


There is a misinformed concept that feminism is inherently anti-male. This is not the case. Feminism is a movement that is fighting for equal rights and justice for all humans, regardless of sex, gender, age, race, religion or class. It’s a belief and cause that every being deserves respect, safety, resources, joy, and freedom. It’s an equity-based ideology that isn’t hierarchal but communal. It’s trying to guide societies and civilization to a more enlightened state, where we aren’t competing against each other but uplifting each other. This battle of the sexes is so outdated. We are so much better than that. We have so much potential as human beings.

Is speaking up about systemic violence against women seen as undermining?

Of course there will be those who use this argument to silence the cause. Profit trumps social justice. That’s the crux of the battle. The end goal is to stem the tide against this undermining belief that immediate profits are more important than human rights and safety. I wish that the government of every country could understand that publicly endorsing and ensuring the safety of its citizens and tourists would lead to much bigger long term returns. How is tourism going to flourish if female tourists and investors are being raped, harassed, beaten and abused? By confronting the issue it can be solved. Burying one’s head in the sand and ignoring it will only compound and perpetuate the problem.

GBV has increased during the pandemic. Do you see this picture changing as lockdown restrictions lift?

I hope that women who have been trapped with their abusers are able to leave their violent situations and seek refuge in shelters or safe homes. I hope they are able to find training, education and meaningful work to gain financial independence.

What is the role of women’s and children’s shelters and safe houses?

The shelters and safe houses are essential spaces for women and children to escape their abusive environments. Unfortunately, the village/tribal mentality is very strong and the abusers usually have the family and village wrapped around their fingers, so it’s extremely difficult for an abused woman to stay in her home or village and get free of the cycle of violence. The prevailing culture is very traditional and seeks to keep the family unit or marriage together at all costs. There is so much shame around divorce. A woman is expected to tolerate so much, even abuse, to keep up appearances and keep the marriage intact. Shelters provide a safe haven where she can go ‘no contact’ and start to rebuild herself and have hope for a future without violence.

What sort of education is required to build a more equal status for women?

It’s an achievable dream. We have to keep the faith and envision it. We must believe in evolution. Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same forever. If we can imagine it, see it, believe it and speak truth to power then a better future is on its way for sure. I’ve witnessed so much positive change in my short time in Sri Lanka. It’s happening. The younger generation is online and educating themselves, having difficult conversations, pushing the envelope and shifting the culture. The change is here. And I’m excited to be documenting it. This is the perfect time to be making this film.

Shadow, Tears and Fire

On today, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, I want to take a look at what progress has been made in raising our awareness as a community about the gender based violence (GBV) which women, girls and children experience in this country.

For a year, the ESVN campaign has been raising awareness of the different aspects of what we experience as ‘violence’, via the social media platforms of Facebook and Instagram. We have sought to expand and amplify our understanding of the term, beyond physical assault and battery, which are visible and can be documented via photographs, to verbal abuse, intrusive questioning, objectification, disrespect of personal boundaries, workplace harassment, body shaming, erosion of consent, offensive categorisations and reductive stereotyping. Words lead to actions. And both words and actions are caused by, and affirm, beliefs. If these words and actions, and their damaging impact, are to change, the underlying beliefs must first be challenged and transformed.

The ESVN campaign has showcased numerous instances of harassment of all kinds, via videos, interviews, documentaries, advertisements and news items, including the internalized misogyny of women, which results in them tearing down and disrespecting other women via interviews and social media commentary. The belittling of women in this way normalizes disrespect and devaluation, which results in the creation of a culture which routinely underestimates, degrades and dismisses women. This normalization is itself an act of violence, and it underlies and perpetuates violence.

These issues were at the heart of the discussion during the Q and A I recently conducted with Jessica Palden, who has made a documentary film called ‘Teardrop On Fire’, which explores gender based violence and its impact on Sri Lanka, and which is due to be released in the upcoming months.

The film is based on interviews with people who have directly experienced GBV, and with activists and journalists seeking to highlight the problem as one which must be faced and remedied, if the country is to progress, socially and in terms of people’s feeling of personal safety, well-being and peace of mind.

The term being given, globally, to the rise in domestic violence and abuse during the enforced lockdowns and closures necessitated by the Covid 19 pandemic, is ‘The Shadow Pandemic’. This term refers to the often hidden and far greater impact that domestic violence has had on women, during this global crisis. Societal structures and cultural norms mean that women are often relegated to the domestic sphere, and have had no alternative but to stay domiciled with men who perpetrate violence on them and their children.

If we really want to shatter stereotypes, we need to stop shaming those who speak out against abuse, by forcing them from the outset to self represent as victims of violence, as a result of which they are constructed as ‘weak’. It is the perpetrators of violence who should be confronted with their unacceptable behaviour, and whose damaging actions should be stopped. Silencing victims delays justice.


DB: What are your views on what progress has recently been made in raising public awareness of the extent to which women are subjected to GBV, in every country in the world?

JP: ‘Since the start of the #metoo movement, women all over the world have been coming out publicly and sharing their stories of abuse. As with all social justice movements, the use of social media platforms has been integral in the virality and momentum of these movements.
In the past 5 years that I’ve lived in Sri Lanka, I’ve witnessed first hand the solidarity and uprising happening amongst women, girls and male allies who have started so many initiatives to push back and break the silence. It’s so uplifting and inspiring. Just login to Facebook and Instagram and you’ll see a ton of organizations, groups, NGOs, shelters, task forces, etc who are all doing amazing, trail blazing work in the GBV field.’

DB: Do you feel that the general public are now becoming more aware that verbal, psychological and emotional abuse also constitutes violence? That it is not just defined as physical assault on the body?

JP: ‘Yes, absolutely. There has been a concerted effort to engage therapists, counselors, and psychologists in these discussions, and so much education around the complex cycle of abuse and trauma is being actively disseminated.
Sometimes, though, this information is being consumed by those people who are in it, not necessarily by the people who need to hear it. The ignorant turn a blind eye to topics of abuse, because it would go against their self interest to engage or learn about these topics, because in doing so they would lose their power. The patriarchy doesn’t have empathy.’

DB: Do you include in the term ‘the patriarchy’ women who have internalized misogyny, and withhold empathy and support from women who are targeted by abusers and perpetrators of GBV?

JP: Oh absolutely! Excellent point. Women have internalized misogyny as a survival tactic. It’s how they’ve been able to climb up the ladder of success into the good old boys club.’


DB: Could you give us some context for the making of your upcoming film ‘Teardrop On Fire’? What is it about? What inspired it?

JP: ‘I have my own personal backstory of abuse. I’m a survivor of domestic intimate partner violence. My abuse happened in Sri Lanka with a Sri Lankan man. So it’s in the Sri Lankan cultural context that I understand abuse. Of course abuse is a universal problem, but how it manifests in every culture is slightly different.
When I started my path to healing, once I had gone ‘no contact’ with my abuser and started therapy, I found that reaching out to other victims and survivors to share my story was incredibly empowering. I felt heard. I felt I mattered and that my story mattered. After being gaslighted for 4 years, and told I was crazy, and ignored by everyone in his family and community anytime I spoke about my abuse, it really wore me down into a shell of my former self. There is so much shame around the topic of abuse. So much silence. No one wants to address it. No one wants to hear about it. I was told countless times by his family members to just smile and be happy. After a beating! With a black eye! To just smile and put on a happy face. The abuse is so normalized. It’s really frightening. I don’t blame his family. They don’t know better. It’s just their reality, their culture. And even my abuser I can’t blame because he too is a victim of the cycle of abuse. Hurt people hurt people. I don’t condone his behavior but I can somehow feel empathy and understand where it stems from. I think there is a huge issue of underlying and untreated mental illness as well, that compounds and complicated the issue.
So I decided to champion the cause, and use the medium of documentary film to help educate and empower women and girls in Sri Lanka to overcome their experiences of trauma and abuse. I thought if I could give a platform for victims and survivors to break their silence, they could feel heard and take that brave first step by sharing their stories. The film is a kind of therapy for me and the subjects. We bonded. We came together in solidarity. It was really moving to witness their courage, and I’m humbled that they trusted me with their experiences.’

DB: This seems as if you had not come up against GBV in the U.S. or elsewhere. Are you saying it’s worse in SL?

JP: ‘No - I never experienced GBV in the U.S. I think we are probably 70 years ahead, in the timeline, than Sri Lanka. We have systems set up here that make it much harder for abusers to go unpunished. For example, if you call the police and report abuse they will respond immediately. They go through training. In Sri Lanka, the police were useless. They laughed at me and drank with my abuser. He had them in his pocket.
I did experience sexual harassment in both India and Sri Lanka on public transport and public spaces. Again, this is something that is so normalized in Southeast Asian cultures.
I don’t want to mislead and make it sound like the US or western countries are superior, GBV absolutely happens in western countries, too. However there is an established infrastructure and laws against it, and the system can work. That’s what needs to change in Sri Lanka. The outdated laws need to be rewritten. Sri Lanka needs to join the 21st century.’

DB: Some people in Sri Lanka are offended when people from other countries come here and use this country as an example of entrenched misogyny. Do you think that being seen as paternalistic or a ‘white saviour’ is unhelpful to your cause?

JP: ‘Of course people will be offended by my POV because I’m a foreign white woman. It comes with the territory. I’ve been accused of having ‘white savior complex’ frequently. I understand this knee jerk reaction. Who am I to preach? Sri Lankans can and should be handling their own issues, and I’m not a missionary. What I am is a documentarian with a personal connection to the issue and the subjects. I am holding up a lens to the stories as they unfold, and filming it. I am coming to this work as an ally in solidarity, giving a platform to the voiceless and marginalized. I’m not using the film to tell my own story. I’m not a subject of the film. I’m directing and producing it.’

DB: What interests me in observing your statements on this issue is that you seem to transcend otherisation and oppositional thinking. Men to you are not by default ‘the enemy.’ The habit and compulsion to do violence is the enemy. What beliefs inform your perspective?

JP: ‘Thank you for asking this question. It’s so vital. There is a misinformed concept that feminism is inherently anti-male. This is not the case! Feminism is a movement that is fighting for equal rights and justice for all humans, regardless of sex, gender, age, race, religion, class, etc. It’s a belief and cause that every being deserves respect, safety, resources, joy, and freedom. It’s an equity-based ideology that isn’t hierarchal but communal. It’s trying to guide societies and civilization to a more enlightened state, where we aren’t competing against each other but uplifting each other. This battle of the sexes is so outdated. We are so much better than that! We have so much potential as human beings.
I think also my Buddhist training and beliefs play a huge part in informing my perspective. I’ve been a student and practitioner of Tibetan Buddhism for over 30 years. The Dharma teaches us to love our enemies, to see them as our teachers. Also, the Bodhisattva vow requires us to have faith in the inherent goodness of all sentient beings and to never give up hope. So this vow is sacred to me. How can I see men as the enemy? In a past lifetime, maybe my abuser was my mother? Who’s to know? Karma is very complicated. In any case, as you said, violence is the enemy. We must tirelessly champion the cause of non-violence and teach it to the new generations. We must help them break the cycle of violence and break generational curses.’

DB: At a time when the country seeks to increase its visibility as a tourist magnet, after the disruptions of the pandemic, do you think that speaking up about systemic violence against women in SL is going to be seen as undermining?

JP: ‘Of course there will be those who use this argument to silence the cause. Of course profit trumps social justice. That’s the challenge of the cause. That’s the crux of the battle. The end goal is to stem the tide against this undermining belief that immediate profits are more important than human rights and safety. I wish that the government of every country could understand that publicly endorsing and ensuring the safety of its citizens and tourists would lead to much bigger longterm returns. How is tourism going to flourish if female tourists and investors are being raped, harassed, beaten and abused? By confronting the issue it can be solved. Burying one’s head in the sand and ignoring it will only compound and perpetuate the problem.’

DB: GBV has increased during the pandemic, as so many women found themselves locked in with abusive partners and situations without any alternative. The ‘shadow pandemic’ as it is called, showed that women suffered more domestic violence than ever before due to lockdowns and workplace closures. How do you see this picture changing as lockdown restrictions lift?

JP: ‘I hope that women who have been trapped with their abusers are able to leave their violent situations and seek refuge in shelters or safe homes. I hope they are able to find training, education and meaningful work to gain financial independence.’

DB: What is the role of women’s and children’s shelters and safe houses in a culture like Sri Lanka?

JP: ‘The shelters and safe houses are essential spaces for women and children to escape their abusive environments. They are absolutely essential. Unfortunately, the village/tribal mentality is very strong, and the abusers usually have the family and village wrapped around their fingers, so it’s extremely difficult for an abused woman to stay in her home or village and get free of the cycle of violence. The prevailing culture is very traditional and seeks to keep the family unit or marriage together at all costs. There is so much shame around divorce. A woman is expected to tolerate so much, even abuse, to keep up appearances and keep the marriage intact.

Shelters provide a safe haven where she can go ‘no contact’ and start to rebuild herself and have hope for a future without violence.’

DB: What sort of education is required before the momentum starts to build for a more equal status for women in Sri Lanka? Is it an impossible dream? Or an achievable goal?

JP: ‘It’s an achievable dream. We have to keep the faith and envision it. We must believe in evolution. Change is inevitable. Nothing stays the same forever. If we can imagine it, see it, believe it and speak truth to power then yes, a better future is on its way for sure. I’ve witnessed so much positive change in my short time in Sri Lanka. It’s happening. The younger generation is online and educating themselves, having difficult conversations, pushing the envelope and shifting the culture. The change is here. And I’m excited to be documenting it. This is the perfect time to be making this film.’

DB: How can we assist in transforming the society we live in? What are the forces and cultural beliefs that stand in the way?

JP: ‘We can assist by engaging in the hard conversations. We can begin at home. We can start in our own families and communities. We can stand up and speak out against violence. I really admire Milani Salpitikorala of CPF (Child Protection Force). She’s going out into remote areas with her team and educating and empowering communities and villages to stand up and speak out when they see GBV happening. She’s putting the power directly into the people’s hands. I am hoping to document Milani’s work in the film, shooting her work in the field.

I addressed the cultural beliefs that stand in the way earlier about the taboo around divorce. There are so many other cultural beliefs that are hugely contributing factors to perpetuating violence against women and children. For example, the cult of virginity. The objectification of women. The strict traditional gender roles. The cultural mindset that sees and perpetuates women as second class citizens.’

DB: Until women are seen and respected as having worth, dignity, and an individual destiny of our own, separate from our reproductive capacity, no legislation will be able to remedy the wrongs women are subjected to in a patriarchal society. How can respect for women be enabled and modelled in the systems of justice and governance in the country? And at a local and domestic level?

JP: ‘Here in the U.S., we are suffering at the resurgence of fundamentalist Christian influences in our government as we witness our rights to abortion in some states being taken away. We are regressing and losing so much progress due to this. The political power of the patriarchy is so damaging.
At the local and domestic level, I see programs like what Milani at CPF is doing to be an excellent model. Outreach, education, task forces, initiatives that educate and empower at the grassroots level is the answer.’

Progress is definitely being made. But in summary, societal change must come from individual and community transformation of awareness, and a national and global realization that a truly prosperous society is one in which all of its citizens are empowered to participate, contribute and live their lives without fear or stigma.

Prep

 Image credit: br

 It’s repetitive, like a meditation,

Following favourite recipes.

Particularly the ones which require the individual preparation of certain ingredients, one set at a time.

 

The onions must be pre-caramellized. The chicken pieces seasoned and grilled. The garlic pieces infused with hot water, to soften and sweeten. The eggplant blotted and salted. The tomatoes sliced into joyful rounds. Each item prepared, and set aside.

 

Then the layering takes place, and you know how to do it, what feels right, what goes where, and in what order. The optimal sequence is inside your awareness, you have tried and tested it, and given your assent. It’s instinct now. No need to consult the recipe. You can measure the amounts by eye, and by touch. You can sense the time each step takes.

 

The vegetables and pieces of meat, all cut to the same approximate size, are set out in a pattern as ornate as mirror work, the colours bejewelled and the shapes harmonious, at the bottom of the heavy, round pan. Then the fragrant, saffron-stained spiced rice is packed on top, and all is cooked on high heat till the rice boils and softens. For as long as it takes to clear the kitchen surfaces, and lay the table with clean plates and assemble small vases of fresh flowers, and to make a cucumber and yoghurt accompaniment, and put flatware and drinking glasses around each setting, and stand back and see if everything is right.

 

As you finish, the dish is complete. One pot, with everything in it. A feast, where the guests are favoured. No empty chairs at the table where this meal will be shared. Full plates. The chaos of the world outside recedes, against the onslaught of this domestic radiance. The completeness of the feeling helps to heal the brokenness the human race daily experiences.

View video - https://youtu.be/inE0BM2-ZYA

Death Defying

 There was a king whose son

Immobilized him. Literally.

Walled him in, to a living tomb.

The old man was standing in his way.

 

But the son, the parricide, did not know love, although he thought he was so smart: he was born without a heart.

 

So he did not realise for some time

that when his mother, the queen,

was graciously allowed to visit the incarcerated king, by decree of their son, she was recreating their honeymoon days with a man she loved.

 

She kept him alive for months by bathing

in honey and subtle, nutritious seeds

and letting her husband take sustenance

from her body, during conjugal visits, by ingesting and savouring her.

It was not just the protein and the glucose, we conjecture, that rejuvenated the heartbroken man, in the
face of the cruelty of their son. (They had had such hopes for him, and that was now gone.)

It was the love, the offering, the generosity. The way even now, as their family was tainted and the lines threadbare, this woman invited him

to undo the clasps and ties on her clothes, and take what he required from her, until his need was satisfied. Her gestures gentle and eloquent, her arms extended, her face open to his eye.

Sustenance and Austerity

We can’t believe our ears.

 

The well fed spokesman for politicians is actually telling the ordinary citizens to tighten their belts and reduce their fictional three meals to two meals a day. In fact, many are already at one, and belts can’t get much tighter. 

 

Aerial shots from security drones show queues winding like mazes around the large grocery stores, as people line up for what they hope will sustain them.

 

Store cupboards are not full in this land. Despite so many consecutive disasters, people do not plan ahead. Or perhaps it’s because of the many things that go wrong, all the time, that derail the plans to provide for whatever could happen, to shore up the cracks, and seal the apertures, to hope to survive this more or less upright, and intact.

 

I think people are resorting to the snacks they used to have as children: comfort food to sustain their hope, and nourish whatever joy has remained for each of them.

 

Those with the simplest needs will not only survive, but thrive. And those of us who are generously drawn with ample curvature will sigh with regret, but positively bloom as a result of the mandated reductions, as our hoarded stores get utilized at last.

Life Support

 Image Credit: Pixar Films

The unfolding pandemic has made us all re-evaluate our thoughts and actions. For many of us, it feels like we are living in a transforming world: one in which our focus on ourselves, and the economic survival and fulfillment of our own families, has been challenged. We cannot read or listen to the news without realizing that the pandemic is affecting the global community differentially. 

The COVID-19 crisis has exposed social class differences: in terms of access to PCR tests, preferred vaccines and 24 hour health care. The economically disadvantaged are more vulnerable, have no safety net, and no back up resources. This is where community organizations with their infrastructure and relationships built over many years can positively intervene, in life changing and life supporting ways. 

Some of the most vulnerable members of our community are the elderly. As in many societies around the world, Sri Lanka’s traditional social structures are changing, as industrialization and a more materialistic value system challenges the family-based focus of the past, where our elders were respected, honored and cared for as they became physically less robust and more frail. 

A mindset which values wealth creation, and honors only those individuals whose work creates net worth and property portfolios, inevitably creates disrespect for retirees, who are of course no longer gainfully employed in the private or public sectors. Measuring a person solely by their income will result in our undervaluing those citizens who are perceived as no longer having anything to contribute, and who need to be supported at this stage of their life. 

In Sri Lanka, respect for our elders is ingrained, as one of the most important aspects of our culture, and thus it is a natural outcome that good work is being done by community organizations to support our senior citizens. This work often goes unrecognized, and is therefore not sufficiently supported.

In the past two decades, the traditional extended family structure has been disrupted, by internal and external migration, as the younger generation leave their homes in search of better job prospects. Those who remain behind often do not have the skill, patience or time to care for their elders. 

It is important that this shortfall should be addressed at this juncture, as our elderly citizens are among the most vulnerable in our community, both financially and in terms of their physical age and diminished health conditions, which make them especially vulnerable in this pandemic. 

The HelpAge Sri Lanka (HASL) Organisation operates through grass roots Senior Citizen Committees to raise awareness of older people’s specific rights and needs. These include access to ID cards and pensions, and access to shelter and food, necessary for survival, and to medical care, as many elderly citizens are home bound or less mobile, and need home care services which are administered by volunteers. 

Sri Lanka has one of the largest ageing populations in the world, and HASL is the only charity organization working in the country which has been created solely to address the needs of our elderly citizens. Fundamental to their vision is the upholding of human dignity, and an awareness of the ways age and infirmity result in increased vulnerability and dependency in the elderly. 

To be able to support vulnerable people without disrespecting their dignity, requires sensitivity training, dedication and commitment. The training of the staff is crucial to this service and support, and fulfil an essential humanitarian role in this sphere. HASL trains staff to offer everyday home care to elderly citizens, within their family environment. 

‘There needs to be more acceptance and better management of people in their old age’, said a colleague of mine, recently. ‘When you get older, you can't expect your kids to look after you - it's not fair by them. This is a very South Asian attitude. Putting your parent in a well tended elders home is better than living dysfunctionally with each other. Also many old people suffer from conditions like Dementia and Alzheimers, and you need professional care for that. 

Also people with mental illness cannot live on their own - they need constant supervision by a trained professional. You cannot expect your children to do that.’

The HASL organisation provides support for vision challenged elders through a dedicated Eye Hospital in Wellawatte, providing medical assistance for those who cannot afford cataract surgery and the associated expenses of purchasing lenses. They have also created a Mobile Medical Unit: a clinic-on-wheels which is equipped to offer medical diagnosis and treatment to elders in remote or inaccessible places in the country, free of charge. 

HASL has also prepared for the ongoing future recognition and upholding of the rights and dignities of the elderly, by implementing Youth Education  Programmes, to create awareness in the younger generation of the community responsibilities we must face and take on as we all deal with the inevitable ageing process. Empathy, compassion and kindness are values which can effectively remedy the estrangement and objectification many elderly citizens are met with, in an increasingly materialistic global society. 

Elderly citizens, due to their lack of mobility, also require special assistance during seasonal emergencies such as floods, which render many homeless. This is where community based enterprises are most useful, as the staff  are vigilant and aware of the most vulnerable members of each village, and able to assist with essential medical supplies and care where it is most needed. 

With this clear and robust organizational structure, and supported by donations from both corporate investors and private individuals, HASL has been in a good position to assist the elderly during the COVID-19 crisis. Nearly 10,000 vulnerable citizens have been assisted by the Give2Asia Project, in the period May to September 2021; with essential PPE and hand washing units being provided, and vaccination awareness programmes being conducted. 

Senior citizens are also provided with access to traditional medicine treatments via the provision of a dedicated Ayurvedha Treatment Centre in Boralesgamuwa, which is affiliated with the Faculty of Ayurvedic Medicine in Colombo University. 

Above all, this organisation focuses on the emotional and psychological well being of our elders, not treating them as people with just physical needs. They are seen as people who have contributed to the community throughout their lives, and so deserve our respect and support in their later years. 

These ongoing supportive activities and acts of commitment are needed in our society. As age takes away our privilege, embodied generosity, and dedicated care and concern as shown in these initiatives, can restore our faith in humanity, especially our own. 

Community Service

‘No man is an island, entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent

A part of the main...

Each man’s death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.’

              - John Donne 

The months of September and October are likely to be the most challenging of the entire pandemic. Now the population are being vaccinated at a rapid rate, with many vaccination centres operating long hours, and reports are coming in of how efficient and stress free the process is, with the younger citizens aged between 18 and 30 being able to book their vaccines through an online portal, and being assured that there are enough vaccines to go around, and no shortages. 

There is now enough data available, 20 months into the pandemic, to make it clear that vaccination is what makes the difference between getting this illness so seriously that you cannot breathe without help; and getting a milder version of it which does not inevitably result in hospitalization and death. It is also clear that all the different kinds of vaccine available are effective in lessening the severity of the impact of the virus on the human body. 

It is important to note that the double dose of every vaccine appears to provide far better protection against hospitalization than one dose alone, and that it is important to wait the optimal length of time after the vaccine is given (3-5 weeks, depending on which vaccine you get), for best results. It is also important that people who have been vaccinated understand the need to continue to practise social distancing, mask wearing and hand hygiene protocols, even within their own homes to protect vulnerable family members, whose immunity levels are lower, for many months to come. 

I say September and October are the danger zone because although the current vaccination rates are excellent, it will take that amount of time for immunity to develop in the whole community. The current lockdown, although difficult for many, economically, and socially frustrating for everyone, will definitely help to incrementally decrease the numbers of infected people, in conjunction with the vaccinations. 

By October/November, the terrible news reports will decrease in volume and intensity. By Christmas and New Year, we may be able to meet in small groups, our vaccination cards laminated for ease of use, because no more booster shots will be required. 

The huge burden on our doctors and nurses and health care professionals will ease. They are currently working extremely long hours, and putting themselves at risk every day to assist the community, despite having family and loved ones of their own. This is a battle. This is why where they work is called a front line. 

Our health care heroes, as they are called on social media, are extremely dedicated and skilled. But they are, while dealing with this unprecedented global crisis, like health care professionals all over the world, under resourced and under equipped. 

It’s easy to feel helpless in this crisis situation. But even though we are not medically qualified, we as a community can help our medical professionals in their task, in effective and timely ways, through targeted donations. We can equip them to do their optimal work, in the frontline of this battle against this transmissible disease. 

Community groups like the Rotary Clubs of Sri Lanka have effective organizational infrastructure, and strong relationships across different social sectors which have been developed over collaborations through many years, and their members are therefore in a good position to mobilize and help support the country’s public hospitals. 

A fine example of this embodiment of the Rotary ideals of ‘service above self’ is the dedicated efforts of the Rotary Club of Colombo Regency, who collaborated with the SEALA (South East Asia Leadership Academy) global network, to raise thousands  in US currency to donate much needed and expensive equipment such as Multipara monitors, syringe pumps and pulse oximeters, to Panadura, Kegalle and Diyatalawa Hospitals, as part of their Covid Relief Initiative. This is a humanitarian campaign which is structured in phases. 

This has involved strategic planning and co-operation with multiple local and overseas partners, as well as fund raising. To be an effective donor you must be financially organized enough to be able to give donations to a particular hospital over a period of several months, as the need for medical resources and equipment is very great in the regional areas of the country, and giving must be sustained as well as generous, in order for the hospital facilities to be developed to optimally support incoming patients. 

Other voluntary community service organizations have also raised substantial funds, and have done so using the powerful instrument of social and personal connections, going back to school and college days, in ways that directly reach the people who are in most need of them, with ventilators, oxygen flow regulators and other vital respiratory facilitation equipment. Hospitals serving large numbers of people, have been enabled to build dedicated Covid wards with full facilities, through the auxiliary  assistance of community groups. 

Private individuals and families are responding to the challenges presented by the pandemic by giving large amounts to uplift the local hospitals throughout the country. Outside the hospitals, Good Samaritan projects are raising money to be able to give essential food and basic items to people who are facing hunger due to lack of paid work over the past several months. People with credibility in the community and with a track record of personal integrity are entrusted by their friends and colleagues to collect funds in an accountable and transparent way, and to distribute these essential items to those in need, the most vulnerable. 

Social media has played a significant role in conveying the requests for assistance from hospitals and medical personnel, and via WhatsApp groups and FB posts and Tweets by people with large followings the links between those in need and those with funds to offer are effectively made. Social media’s stated objective, to foster and facilitate community connections and bonds, has come into operation in actual fact. Equipment which saves lives is being sourced, paid for and delivered to the patients within 72 hours. 

Credibility and a reputation not as a do gooder or a virtue signaller, but as a person who is motivated to ease the suffering of others in a time of crisis, anxiety and real physical, economic and social need, is the best currency in this era. Recognition of how inter-connected we all are is vital. These organisations are effective in doing the needful because people all over the world place trust in service organizations like this, who have long term track records in supporting those in need, most often anonymously, which perfectly illustrates the advice of the Lord Buddha: ‘To give generously, give happily, and give in silence’. 

Each human life is valuable. Each human being has dignity. Most especially, let us support, at this time, and incrementally, the dedicated efforts of our health care professionals, and the patients whose lives they work so hard to save. 

Let us not send to ask for whom the bell tolls. Whether we know the names of those suffering and succumbing in this crisis or not, their loss is our loss. 

Link to article - https://ceylontoday.lk/news/community-service?fbclid=IwAR1zwn3ckTp35u3sCkgkWPYk79PsyGHqeD1O1w81x0wQwlHhbl9rl3uuU5g

The Hills Are Alive

Image credit: Hotelier Academy

The worst weeks of the pandemic crisis have now begun: the period before the vaccinations start to take effect, as it  takes 3-5 weeks to create immune response protection in those who are vaccinated; and the aftermath of the holiday season at New Year, in which the highly transmissible Delta strain started making its devastating impact felt. 

Pandemics are relatively easy to understand, if you are good with numbers. The more densely populated an area is, the more closely people live in communal households and inter- generational living arrangements, the more people physically go in to a workplace rather than work from home, the more quickly the illness will spread. 

The safest way to operate if you can is to avoid people. A person to person transmission event cannot take place if one of the persons is not present. 

This also applies to group activities such as holiday getaways of the kind that people locked in their city homes and apartments understandably yearn for. The pandemic has thrived in conditions of communal congeniality - religious functions, festivals to mark auspicious occasions, weddings, funerals, parties, pot luck dinners with shared food platters, and feasts of all kinds, particularly those held in air-conditioned rooms. 

It is understandable that many people cannot change their homes and living arrangements, and can only do their best via partitions and increased social distancing to diminish transmission to those they live with. But what I will never understand is the mania shown by some people to continue to organize group outings to the cool, misty hill country in the midst of the worst pandemic in a century. 

Boutique hotels offering group discounts and ‘two for the price of one’ deals can be seen advertising their high end and high priced rooms on Instagram, with an array of glorious views of green hills and  glistening swimming pools and sumptuous dining platters, accompanied by swim suited or bath robed European models in alluring poses offering many kinds of prompts and provocations to viewers to do what they are doing, and have what they are having. 

These hotels have not been legally permitted to operate during lockdowns, and intermittent inter-provincial travel restrictions have made it difficult for them to attract guests, since last March. They have maintenance and repairs to fund, and staff salaries to pay, and their economic loss must have been significant. 

It’s a volatile situation, as the tourism industry needs to open up, but in a well managed way that minimizes risk to the citizens of the country who have not yet been double vaccinated. This is where vaccine politics comes into play: there may come a time soon, when overseas visitors who can prove they have been double vaccinated, and who test negative for Covid on arrival in Sri Lanka, can readily access express 24 hour quarantine processing, and are permitted to freely go anywhere in the island, while the local population are forced to stay restricted in their homes. 

This is privilege in action, as global access to vaccines has not been equitable, anywhere in the world. 

The so-called local elite, whose sense of being special, blessed and set apart in comparison to the ordinary citizens of this country has been fed by every affirming experience and monetized event in their lives, will not stay locked down long. Those who have acquired the vaccines accepted by the U.K., the U.S., Europe and Australia will seek to gather their cliques together and go and take poses and filtered selfies in every infinity pool in sight, and justify it to themselves as a well-earned break. 

The exhausting task of keeping the kids (the generation in whose hands our future will be placed!) entertained, with online school, and so regrettably few inner resources, will be remedied with cocktails and mocktails and sunrise all-you-can-eat breakfasts by the pool, and evening sunset pre-BBQ bites and delectable snacks, while the dedicated chefs in their pristine, perfect, puffy white hats labour to fulfill these insatiable appetites. Yum Yum. 

I observed with incredulity one of these getaway weekends being arranged via WhatsApp last week. Person after person spoke on the chat about how much they missed meeting up, how they couldn’t breathe in the pollution and dust of the City, and how heavenly it would be to just escape this ongoing nightmare for just a few days. 

People like this don’t think about the impact they have, unless it’s the impact of a new trend in clothing, accessories or winged eyeliner that they have acquired to impress each other. All is vanity. 

The numbers of deaths in the hill country have so far been consistently far fewer statistically than those in the densely populated Western Province. This is despite the large and economically vulnerable community of plantation workers and their families living in crowded conditions in housing built decades ago, and not modernized and upgraded, who have no other home but this region. 

If monied tourists and self indulgent, privileged elites come swarming upcountry like birds of paradise or super models at a location shoot, treating the region as a backdrop for their Instagram Story and reels, complete with beauty spots and quaint locals, these upcountry communities will be sharply, adversely and disproportionally affected. 

The ordinary citizens have no safety net, they have no ability to work from home, they have no insurance cover, they have no financial or health protection. Those working in the plantation sector are still fighting for a wage of 1000 LKR a day, the price of a creaming soda ordered on room service at one of these luxury boutique hotels. 

Can the gratification of the rich be delayed just 6 to 8 weeks? Can they put a limit on their excesses for even that space of time? We cannot appeal to their conscience or sense of what is morally right, because they have long lost the habit of considering the needs of anyone other than themselves. 

‘Life in the fast lane, slowly makes you lose your mind’, as the Eagles sang. And the fast lane looks like it is about to become super crowded with super rich people trying to compensate themselves for lost time.