Published in Ceylon Today
Q: You end the film by quoting words familiar from the ‘metta’ meditation: 'Let the children be well, and happy'. It was a moving and inspiring way to end. Was it your idea to frame the stories for a particularly Buddhist viewing audience?
I was born to an orthodox Buddhist family from Kandy. I spent most of my childhood in our village temple memorizing scriptures, chanting pirith and picking flowers to offer during daily rituals. As a kid I dreamt of becoming a monk. But when I migrated to Colombo, no sooner I finished schooling, things changed. It was the formative years of introduction to free economy in Sri Lanka, and we the youth started building fantasy futures for ourselves. Instead finding a teacher to continue with my spiritual path I joined the corporate sector. As an advertising copywriter working for multinational agencies I created campaigns to sell products that were not only harmful to one’s body but also contributed largely to the degeneration of our value system. I am part of the team that created the ‘Coke’ sub culture and boosted LION. After becoming a highly paid creative director, while earning popularity as an ace percussionist, performing with top of the line musicians, things changed for the worst. I thought no end of myself and my ego was sky high. During this time I met Dr. A. T. Ariyaratne the founder of the Sarvodaya Movement, and started travelling around the country to places I never thought existed, to meet with marginalized and powerless communities. Two months down the line I felt ashamed of myself. I realized I am nothing but a corporate slave contributing to a Greed based society but not to the creation of a more sustainable need based one. I quit advertising completely. This was the time of conflict I became an active participant in organizing mass peace meditation programmes. The more I worked on the peace front the more I deepened my understanding of loving-kindness. Metta became my buzzword and I fell back on my spiritual path, but this time walking with millions of fellow pilgrims.
This film I shot soon after returning from a forest meditation centre off Sydney, Australia having lived a life of a novice monk in yellow robes. During my month long stay I meditated upon nothing but Metta. Though my focus was to give a voice to these children I wanted to do it in a more compassionate way rather than choosing an aggressive path. Loving-kindness has a universal appeal. NO it’s certainly not just to appeal to Buddhists. In fact to tell you the truth I hate to call myself a Buddhist. I don’t want to confine my self to a geographical barrier and call my self a Sri Lankan and carry the Dhammapada in my hands and shout loud ‘I am Buddhist’. All I know is that I am a human being seeking for truth.
Q: In what way has making this film changed you, personally?
I spent one and a half years of my life in the North researching into this film. I met scores of people belonging to many different layers of the society. I made this film during the previous regime. It was not easy with military intelligence watching every step of mine. Personally it was one of the most challenging shoots. But all the hardships I went through added a different determination to my own determination and gave courage to see to the end of the production. Personally it was a journey that deepened my understanding of impermanent and decaying nature of everything around us including relationships and emotions.
Q: Are you positive in your beliefs for the future of the country? Or do you feel the 'peace', so hard-won, is fragile?
It’s time we revisit certain grim passages of history and assure all citizens of the country a safer future. We need to launch a well thought out, long lasting reconciliation process, instead of working on short-term projects. It is time we cultivate the virtue of forgiveness, and start embracing each other with deeper understanding. I prefer a genuine civil society initiative, rather than government policy superimposing upon our lives. To sustain the hard won peace, a paradigm shift in consciousness must take place now. Peace is the only way.
Q: What role do you think your film could play in opening people's eyes and minds to the hidden stories of these children? Could it be shown for example at cinemas after the big military parades every Independence Day?
I am someone totally opposed to big military parades. Twice every year we display our military might, spending millions. Those who wave national flags at high flying war planes on that day never realize how much it affects certain communities. How sensitive is it for certain fractions of the society to digest all that pomp and pageant? We should not confine ourselves to screening films on chosen days, but design a process that engages all stakeholders to carry on a healthy dialogue.
Q: These people that you interviewed clearly trusted you. Was it hard to gain their trust? How long did you have, to spend with them?
Well when I researched into the film, I had a world of time and they were free to share. I cried with them, I laughed with them, I shared meals with them and I hugged them from time to time. They trusted me to the very atom as they probably felt I am part of them.
In fact one person travelled all the way from Jaffna to Colombo to see me when I met with an accident last year. Such was the bond. But when I went with my camera to shoot, they only shared some of the stories as military personnel were present. When interpreters become interrogators that’s inevitable.
Q: Do the people you interviewed have faith in the processes of rehabilitation and the political and civil groups that are reaching out to them?
NO not all. To my knowledge there had not been a proper rehabilitation process. It was more or less a vocational training in the watchful eyes of military. I have never been to a rehabilitation centre. This is what they told me. I sensed that anyway. They feel that most are following an agenda except of course a few genuine organizations like Sarvodaya. What is the use of periodical workshops with payment for participation? It’s time we adopt a PROCESS instead of ad hoc project planning.
Q: How long do you think it will take for the wounds to turn into scars, and for the scars to fade? Metaphorically speaking? For these child soldiers & their families? The memories of being used in this way? Their ideals betrayed & their hopes manipulated?
It will take more than one lifetime to heal the wounds, especially those who suffered the war in full. These kids and people in the area are constantly reminded who they are, the place they have in the society and a list of dos and don’ts. In a forced environment as such, how can we expect them to forget? I met some ex child soldiers who are still afraid of loud noises, darkness and even dead meat. There are child soldiers who refused to talk to anyone, who hide themselves in dark corners in fear, who are unable to eat as they are reminded of incidents they went through. Unfortunately, as the majority of them are unemployed, they live without a rice grain of hope for themselves or for the country. Unless we remove the root cause, the suffering will continue.
Q: Do you think that far greater sensitivity is needed in dealing with this specific group of people than has been realised?
We must be ultra sensitive in dealing with not only those who suffered but also all minorities. It’s deeply saddening that today those of us who stand by truth and justice have fallen into the category of minority. Actually the real war has just begun, to win the confidence of those who faced brutalities. All our efforts go waste every time they see military drills, air displays and even nonsensical statements by various authorities.
Q: How could future out reaches, activists and aid workers be better trained & informed than they currently are?
For the majority of those whom you mention they are part of a project in peace building or rehabilitation or health care, etc. Their mushroom growth of interest lasts only as far as the project lasts. Actually I want them not to visit those areas or talk to individuals, as half-hearted contribution could be very damaging. If you are to build true relationships you must study the issue thoroughly and understand the gravity of their intervention before you step into those areas. I do not speak Tamil. But all embraced me as they felt I am agenda-less. In the beginning I only had love and affection to offer. To date they have not asked any favours from me except a warm hug every time we depart.
Q: What in your personal education, training & experience has led you to have this feeling for this particular group of people? What would you like to see happen as a result of this film you have made?
I have a very special place for kids in my heart as I suffered a miserable childhood. In fact I never had one. I was an aimless kid. Only natural that I am drawn to these kinds of stories. I want the whole world to see this film, and understand the brutal war they funded, the arms they supplied, encouraged with words, deeds and actions. I want all communities to feel my film from a humanistic point of view without taking sides and forming ‘opposing camps’. I want everyone to say “NO MORE WAR” after seeing my film.
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