There’s a perception that beautiful people have direct and unfair access to the good things in life: success, fame and admiration from an early age. This complicates their lives in sometimes unwanted ways. While they have all been greatly admired, and desired, they have all also often been objectified, stereotyped, suspected of using their looks as a shortcut to success - and resented by some (often ‘frenemies’) who would like to see them fall flat on their lovely faces!
I recently interviewed 4 Sri Lankan women who are famous for their beauty, about their experience of being seen as exceptional in a world which idolizes and commodifies them. Three of them have been crowned with National and International honours, and are judges and mentors in the Beauty industry. Shirlene Chiba has been additionally associated with the luxury hotel industry, and is renowned for her generous charity work. Angela Seneviratne is a famous actress, dramatic artiste and columnist. Shivani Vasagam Wedanayake is a super model, beauty queen and entrepreneur, and Natasha Rathnayake is a celebrated singer and performance artist, recipient of many awards in the music and performance industries, and a goodwill ambassador for ‘Educate To Protect’.
Shirlene was Miss Ceylon 1965, Miss Universe contestant 1965, Miss World contestant 1965, Miss Asia contestant and Miss Talent winner 1969, Miss International Contestant and Representative at the World Trade Fair 1970.
Angela was Miss Sri Lanka for Miss World 1975 and First Runner up to Mrs Sri Lanka for Mrs World, 1984.
Shivani was Model of the Year, ‘92,
Miss Sri Lanka for Miss Universe, ‘95,
Mrs Sri Lanka ‘99 and
Mrs World - 4th runner-up ‘99/2000.
All four are public figures, familiar with receiving attention from the Sri Lankan community, both local and international. I asked them: What did it feel like to inhabit this publicly praised face and enviable body? Did they enjoy being lovely to look at, and did they succeed in achieving the happiness they wanted, as well as all the prizes and trophies and career opportunities that have accompanied their progress through life?
Physical beauty makes those who possess it feel ‘like a million dollars’, but it is an asset that does not hold its value - giving the owner diminishing returns as it fades over time, but prompting their character to grow. All four ladies concur that there must be more to us than surface beauty if we are to develop our whole selves in response to the challenges to which life exposes us, and the opportunities it brings us.
When I interviewed Shirlene, Angela, Shivani and Natasha, I found them to be powerhouses of intelligence and vitality. Their creative and multi-faceted personalities make their life experiences interesting to read and listen to. I thank them all for taking the time to answer my questions with honesty, thoughtfulness, insight and openness.
What have they loved about being beautiful? And what have been the drawbacks? What do they think about society’s obsession with external appearances?
All of them commented on the benefits of the international experience and perspective their success has brought them. Shirlene said: ‘I am blessed and grateful for my looks, which have done so much for me. My life changed forever after winning the Miss Ceylon 1965 Beauty Contest.’
Natasha comments that: ‘I love that most perceive me as a role model. It gives me a sense of purpose to use my platform to do good and educate the present and future generations to see beauty in a different light.’
The drawbacks, according to Shirlene, include: ‘Being misunderstood. In this country of ours, being a beauty queen has a little stigma added to it. It is taken for granted or assumed by some men that you are “available“ for them to have some fun with. THIS IS NOT TRUE - in fact, I feel we ‘beauty queens’ have more power to say NO. I have always fully exercised this power!’
Shivani directly addressed the unwanted attention which beauty evokes from the opposite sex, to the point of constant harassment: ‘The advances from the opposite sex... have no limitations, along with the fear of walking into a place unaccompanied.’ It has also impacted her professional life: ‘As an entrepreneur, I co-founded a company called WEB Syndicate, Sri Lanka’s first web development company, in 1996... an era in which we never saw women in the IT industry, which was dominated by men. So ...wherever I went for board meetings or to meet clients, it was challenging, since it was tough to handle the many stares from men. As good as it is receiving attention to get your point through, or beating your competition, it’s a NO when attention is given for the wrong attributes. The worst of all is that your talent and knowledge get overshadowed when physical beauty overpowers them’.
The same society that praises you can also be very vicious in its judgment, as Shirlene says: ‘We are all judged for the wrong reasons. We live in a back stabbing, throw away society. I assure you, my heart is more beautiful than my face. I wish people to see my heart.’
Angela points out that: ‘Envy, jealousy, the venom of people’s malice, are all a part of the hurt one has to bear. In Sri Lanka, where there is intense belief in sorcery, there is the additional fear of “evil eye”’.
All concur that it is important to develop inner character, so that, as Shirlene says, ‘I don’t depend on my looks to see me through: it is the love, helping others, compassion and empathy that I have for everyone that will live in me till I die. So even if my looks fade or any calamity befalls me, I hope I will be loved and remembered for those virtues more than for my looks.‘
It’s important to realize that beauty is constructed, as Angela notes: ‘Over the years, beauty has moved from natural to manmade: botoxed, carved, shaped, tinted, tanned, bleached, sutured, lifted, tucked, and reshaped, re-molded and recast. The artificial addition of false hair, lenses, nails, bosoms, and buttocks, all take physical beauty to another level, but an impermanent one. With ageing, the effects of all those would be almost grotesque... I do urge everyone to accept the process of ageing as gracefully as one can, as whatever we do, we cannot defy the natural changes that nature bestows upon us with time.’
Being beautiful in our youth, we can become distracted and desensitized to the fragility of human life. Perhaps even more so in the disrupted and uncertain times we live in, we need to be aware that health and well-being are more important than surface appearances:
Shivani asserts that: ‘Physical beauty fades with time, but the inner beauty shines through the extraordinary circumstances that you are faced with. Accepting your losses, and moving away from the tragedy of losing your looks as a result of illness or accident is painful, but the key is to keep your mental equilibrium in check... Setting an example for the next generation is important. Therefore, panicking and putting too much emphasis on the physical attributes alone will only bring unhappiness when you lose it all’.
Natasha succinctly states: ‘If we base our validity on superficial things, it would have a catastrophic effect on our mind, body and soul.’
We talk about constructed realities and it would seem Beauty is one of them. For example, how different we look after a makeover or with our face sculptured, and our eyes done up and our hair styled. It’s hard to embrace inner beauty with all that going on. Women are influenced and manipulated by a myriad social cues to look a certain way.
Modern beauty queens are especially aware of this. Shivani says: ‘Beauty today is defined by a confident woman...No longer is beauty defined according to another’s perception...If a woman is of substance, that’s the key to her appeal.’
Angela agrees: ‘Beauty contests give women the platform for empowerment and also the confidence to represent an entire country to the world outside.’
Focusing instead on core character values is what has shaped their lives:
Shirlene confirms: ‘It’s 3 words: Empathy, love and kindness. I did not have to do much to develop it... I have seen a lot of wickedness in the world. And this is my response.’
Angela gives us some important context: ‘In the present day, there is a whole new race to keep up to expectations that life, society, community and the generation throw in our paths: one is almost buried under an avalanche of pretense and hypocrisy, largely projected onto us with the easy access to social media, and misused more often than not. The core of it all, sadly, is to show off!!’
In contrast to that, Angela says, is the power we all have to develop the capacity to respond to life’s challenges with wisdom:
‘My greatest strength I know now, is the ability to forgive, to accept, to move on, and to shut my mind to vindictiveness and revenge, which are by nature the normal ways of dealing with the wrongs of life... It is all a matter of choice... our minds are a very important tool to cope with situations.’
Natasha points out that the publicity that beauty and success brings with it also makes beautiful women a target of unwanted negativity: ‘Having been subjected to sexism, sexual harassment, cyber bullying and constantly having to prove my worth - showing that I’m way more than what meets the eye. I speak for every woman who experiences misogyny.
The superficial judgments we make of ourselves and others stem from the limitations of our conditioning and the way we perpetuate stereotyping of people. As if there was one box that fits all?! Those who don’t conform, are usually known as the trouble makers or the unpopular individuals of society that are demonized for simply being themselves and living their truth, whatever that maybe, and most times these societies end up deciding they would be their judge, jury and executioner, and ridicule them in social circuits or on social media.
Do I think it’s fair? Absolutely not! ...We should be accepting people for who they are, rid of all biases and labels. There is beauty in every person, if we choose to see it with an open mind.’
Beauty pageants in the contemporary world are criticized for playing to the male gaze and drawing attention only to women’s appearance. But, as Shirlene points out: ‘We have many kinds of contests. Sports of all kinds and much more, so why not beauty contests? A beautiful woman is an amazing creation. Admire it! In my time, beauty contests were physical. Beauty of face and body. Today beauty contests have taken a whole new meaning. Intelligence being a big one.’
Shivani strongly agrees: ‘Pageants of years gone by united women of different looks from all over the world to compete and celebrate their beauty which was purely physical... Today, beauty pageants give opportunities for women to advance their careers... and gives them a platform to voice their opinions. Since stardom and fame propel you to become a public figure, it’s important to have pageants of this nature for women to propel change in the status quo. You are heard because of the status you hold as a well known personality in the country and in society... The pageants today want to promote women to play leadership roles in their community and country, in today’s context. This inspires other women to be part of a larger milieu. To be a role model for other women, rather than be just wives, mothers and daughters. Beauty pageants today are held to celebrate accomplished women who embody ‘’beauty with brains’’ in the modern world.’
There’s plenty of competitiveness and injustice behind the scenes in the beauty sphere, and the enforcing of ideals of beauty which are body shaming, sizeist, and colour shaming, but these industry challenges call participants to have the courage to look beyond their own good fortune, to what is being endorsed - and often to challenge it.
Natasha highlights the resilience that is required to use the superpower of beauty well: ‘The beauty of life is that it allows us to use even the bleakest of situations to our advantage. Beautiful journeys have started from these platforms, giving opportunities to countless young women around the world, to pursue their hopes and dreams, instilling values to our societies, championing other women, using their voices to implement change for women and children’s welfare, changing government policy to make it more women-friendly. There is still more work to be done, but it’s beautiful to see this revolution amongst us women, taking effect at least now.’
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