Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Touch And Go

Image credit: Oprah.com


Think of the hundreds and thousands of people we encounter during the course of our lives. If we have a transactional view of life, we probably only register the  people who have exchanged significant material things and experiences with us. 


The people who we have married, or dated for several years, or had children with; the people who taught us, and employed us, and mentored us are in a special category of value. Every person has these valued categories in their life experience. 


But when we look at the incidents that form the basis of legal cases for harassment, assault and other kinds of violation, we see that sometimes people have misjudged the behavior that is appropriate towards people they did not consider significant. They treated these people carelessly, negligently and without respect. And people they arrogantly classified as ‘background’ or ‘temporary’ or ‘a perk of the job’ became more significant than was comfortable, because they were mishandled.


Human beings often show patterns and iterations in their behavior. As young people, we act on impulse, and make mistakes in the way we relate to the society around us and the people we meet. Over time, we develop routines which work for us, whether they are related to food or emotional fulfillment or sexual gratification or power acquisition or health maintenance or wealth creation. 


As individuals, each of us has a certain style of doing the things we do to get the things we need: power dressing, driving, ordering a meal at a cafe or restaurant, how we interview a client or deal with an incoming telephone call. 


That is why we are unsurprised to note that a movie production mogul now jailed on a number of charges of sexual assault and rape shows a discernible pattern in all the accusations made against him. The young women he summoned to meet him to discuss their career advancement were almost without exception 22 or 23 years old. The way he approached them, and leveraged his power against them, was very much a routine. Nothing could really have shown more clearly how normalised this objectification had become to him than the unvarying details recounted by each person who had survived an encounter with him. His methods were akin to the primal courtship rituals of the silverback gorilla. 


At a less global level than Mr. Weinstein, we become aware of politicians and corporate executives in highly placed positions in private and public organisations, armed with stellar professional profiles, whose power abuses are not on public record, but whose unofficial behavior also shows a pattern in the way they treat young women in their organizations, who are not in a position to hold them accountable. 


Mr. Weinstein brought discredit to his own company, which was responsible for producing some marvellous films in Hollywood over the past two decades. The politicians and executives have ego walls and highlight reels of their achievements which can be Googled. 


What all these people have in common is intense ego and entitlement, which has enabled them to demand service and compliance from those they perceive to be lower than they are in a hierarchy. The system in which their habits have been formed has fed this sense of self. They are frequently retained in their positions, despite the complaints made about their unprofessional conduct to HR Departments or investigating authorities, because their professional work brings in so much money to their company or institution. 


Blind eyes are turned towards them, and candid scrutiny of their behaviour is scrupulously avoided. 


Now many young women have smart phones at hand, however, this conduct can be recorded on video and audio. Reading transcripts of recorded encounters people have had with these types of men is a revelatory documentary of these predatory routines they have developed over time. 


In a patriarchal society, misogyny underlies most of the prevalent belief systems about women, both within private institutions and in the public sector. The young women who are forced, for their self protection, to keep detailed records of every inappropriate form of conduct against them, are seen as targets of attention in their workplace by their superior, and isolated. They are often believed by their colleagues to be encouraging this attention, to further their careers. The predators routinely target the prettiest women - the ones they obviously see as ‘trophy’ conquests, regardless of the personal circumstances or marital status of these women. Because appearances are all important to their egos, and the way they themselves are perceived by their male colleagues. 


These days, people in charge of Human Resources and Personnel departments in large companies are sometimes women. This is because women supposedly specialize in ‘soft skills’, and - in the era of trending fempowerment - it looks good to have an ‘empowered’ female at the helm of the all-male retinue of deployment. Especially women who know how to endorse the company line and enhance its image. Particularly on International Women’s Day, when the in house promotional movies for the company are made. These individuals given power in male-dominated organisations are presumed to be empathic, particularly if they are wives and mothers. ‘Multitasking superwomen’. But are they likely to question those that have supported their own rise to power? What limits are placed on them? What disincentives to challenge the majority? When cultural conformism and obedience to hierarchies enforce a bystander mentality? 


What decisions have been made by these people, whose job it is to cover up and conceal, and minimize the wrong conduct they observe, to micromamanage moral disaster, behind the sheen of the public facade, and whose actions affect the career paths and self worth of their fellow human beings? Over time, do these questionable decisions start to change the alignment of their features? Does the distortion that is taking place in their values eventually, inevitably, show in their faces? Do they start to emanate an unpleasant aura, which no amount of scented air freshener can diminish? Even in the rarefied realms of the air conditioned offices on the highest floors of the towers of shining concrete and metal in which they are ensconced? 


Human courtship at its best requires finesse, elegance and moral sincerity - not cookie cutter crudity and an attitude more fitted to  the operator of a conveyor belt in a factory committed to mass production. If ever there was an area and an era where the glorious specificity of romantic attention was required, surely that time is now. 


But not in the workplace. Despite the fact that these high powered people dress up and assume their best selves for 15 to 17 hours of every day. Despite the close proximity they have to the best selves of others, under the aegis of their institution, working together for a joint purpose - although at markedly different pay levels. Despite the fact that walking into a realm where they are so highly regarded must be like immersing themselves daily in a hot tub of low key, sudsy admiration and respect, which stimulates their self esteem to the point where they regularly override the boundaries of respect for the dignity of others. 


Like an addict, the perpetrators over time need more and more intense levels of intake of their chosen drug to replicate the high. 


It’s high level, not eye level. 

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