A New Low In Bro Behaviour

Image Credit to ‘Miss Estephani’

Look up “schoolgirl” and “rape” and “Sri Lanka”. There are many stories which are posted by Google Search with those taglines. We have to refine the search for the most recent atrocity by location and date. Location: Thanamalwila. It is difficult to determine the date because the case involves a situation of ongoing multiple incidents of rape over the course of several months. These incidents were brought to light only when the young girl became pregnant and gave birth to a child and a report was then made concerning the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy.

Twenty two perpetrators were involved in ongoing sexual assault, abuse and coercion of the minor girl. Police are interviewing and charging the students involved, the principal and deputy principal of the school, some of the teachers and some of the parents who sought to cover up the incidents to protect the school’s reputation, their own professional positions in the case of the teachers and the status and reputation of the perpetrators and their families.

The case is being called a “gang rape”. And that is the aspect of it I want to focus on in this article: particularly “gang” behaviour as part of male subculture. In many cities all over the world, teenage boys join gangs in their local neighbourhoods to establish solidarity with their peers and to gain protection and support and a sense of power for themselves. The emotional vulnerability of boys, and particularly in the age group in their teens and twenties, has been highlighted in recent times by many sociologists, focusing on the relative social and psychological isolation of boys, their difficulty communicating their inner feelings and the toxic masculinity culture which surrounds them and makes it hard for them to express or respect vulnerability in themselves or others.

They are also growing up in an online culture which is saturated in pornography where women and girls are routinely objectified, reduced to their physical appearance and characteristics and treated with scorn and disrespect. The most violent of these pornographic films and stories and images both portray and encourage sadism, where pleasure is derived by viewers from seeing acts of dehumanising cruelty inflicted on women. It must be said that this culture of pornography is readily accessible to anyone who has a phone, tablet or computer and that it exists and flourishes and is normalised within a general culture in Sri Lanka in which the status and dignity of women are unacceptably debased.

Gang rape is more prevalent in South Asia than in other countries and India and Sri Lanka report more incidents of such atrocities than other countries in the region. This reflects on the status of women in these countries and highlights the urgent need for the upliftment of girls and women in every aspect of life.

What makes this case stand out in a terrible way is that because of the age and context of the victim and her attackers, what is exposed is not only the breakdown of moral awareness and accountability on the part of the boys, but the dereliction of the duty of care of many of the adults involved from the teachers in the schools to the parents of the schoolboy perpetrators and allegedly some of the medical personnel who were initially presented with the crisis.

Smartphone penetration
It costs about Rs. 10-25,000 to get a basic smartphone which has the capacity to take photographs and make videos and share the images via WhatsApp or other forms of messaging. Even children in regional schools would be able to afford such a device. How they use it is up to them. Sri Lanka, despite its overall economic challenges, has one of the highest rates of smartphone usage in the world and has one of the cheapest rates payable for digital data in the world. Children from the smartphone generation may be technically proficient but show deficiencies in other areas of social and psychological knowledge, empathy and relational awareness in what are called “soft skills”. The very term suggests that these skills are fragile and undervalued in a vision of a harsh and challenging world.

Sri Lanka recently passed legislation to empower women: Women’s Empowerment and Gender Equality Bills. It is difficult to think of any situation which could be more disempowering than the crisis in which this young girl has been involved. The references in the news articles to tuition and tuition teachers opens up an insight which we need to register while thinking about this case. The age of the students is significant because they were Year 11 students, 15 or 16 years of age, meaning they had finished or were finishing their O’Levels. Many students after O’Levels in Sri Lanka seem to lose any motivation for academic achievement and are bored and disengaged, relying on tutoring to get them through their school coursework. The focus on rote learning, and lack of teaching of critical thinking skills, and the absence of Civics as a subject in the school curriculum contribute to the lack of relevance of the formal education, from the students’ perspective.

School is therefore not for them a focus of learning but more a social forum in which they can engage with their peers. A’Level students are already geared for academic success and are from aspirational families who encourage their progress. The danger of stagnancy in those who are merely going through the motions of education is not only intellectual but moral. Students who do not see any future for themselves via academic routes still must attend school and it is in the Years 7-10 (up to the age of 14) prior to O’Levels that such moral education should be encouraged. This of course includes contemporary sex education focusing on consent, which is surely best understood in the context of moral responsibility to one’s fellow citizens. In other countries and in urban areas the students of this age group might be focusing on entering their A’Level courses, planning on further study at university and obviously not wanting to disrupt their own career development and prospects in any way.

But the personal disengagement of the children in this age group and these regional areas must be noted and addressed. Observing the responses to the reporting of this case on social media, which range from suggestions of punitive actions against the rapists, to harsh sentencing, treating the perpetrators as adults under the law, despite their young ages, we see that this case seems to have created shame as well as shock and horror and disbelief on the part of the general public.

Interestingly, while media outlets are updating us about the case, there appears to not be much commentary about this case on Facebook, the social media platform of choice for most Sri Lankans. Perhaps people have no words. They are asking “How did our society become so broken? Our systems are failing us”. The responses by public institutions such as the Women’s Parliamentary Caucus show that public authorities have early identified the collapse of proper protections for the minor child in this case. However, rectifying such a situation will be complex and challenging, where damage has been so multi-faceted: punitive measures and calling to account people who are fearful of their own reputations and have already chosen to ignore the rights of a vulnerable child in their care are the first step but may fall short of what the child herself requires. Does she know what help to ask for? Are these resources and supports available to her? Her ongoing health and well being need sensitive and consistent empowerment.

Psychologists are required to skillfully, patiently and with sensitivity help this child rebuild her sense of self: her dignity, her worth, her boundaries and her ability to trust not only others but her own judgment and to generate a sense of optimism for her future. In this case, the victim and the perpetrators all live in a small community and are known to each other. The degree of shame and stigma applied to her, the public speculation about her relationship with the young man with whom she was in love and who lured her into a situation of vulnerability, the repeated blaming of her as a victim rather than the calling to account of the perpetrators, are thus amplified. There is no protective anonymity in her immediate community.

Rape is not about desire, it is about power
In recent studies done in Australia where domestic violence and gender based violence are sharply escalating, 90% of young women surveyed said they felt unsafe and disempowered in relation to men. In this case, the 22 perpetrators were abusing the power their gender confers on them in a patriarchal society, and the power of numbers, against one defenceless girl, forcing her to drink alcohol to diminish her capacity to resist, bonding with each other through the shared outrages they committed against her, leveraging the vulnerable state in which her regard for the boy with whom she was in love placed her and harnessing the power of technology to shame their victim into repeated compliance. Her humiliation clearly made them feel powerful. They must have felt a cowardly, roaring sense of affirmation and victory to be able to trap this young girl into a situation of chronic shame, worthlessness, panic and helplessness, effectively making her into what they seem to see her and other girls and young women to be: a sort of caged and defenceless, subhuman being, with no autonomy and no power of consent, whom they could terrorise and subjugate to their collective will.

The facts of this case seem to come straight from a vision of hell, a world where innocence and humanity have been eroded. We are all the losers every time such incidents occur. Many are saying, “How have we come to this? The country is damaged beyond redemption”. However, people who live and work in such a society and still continue to strongly adhere to the highest personal standards continue to work to raise awareness of the urgent need for improvement in child protection and the status of women. In a way, the dark context revealed by the emergence of cases such as this illuminates those who are working to improve the situation, by contrast.

We live in a world in which people are hyper aware of their own rights. In this context, responsibilities towards others, including respect, courtesy and the upholding of their rights and dignity, need to be modelled by adults to children and applied with integrity and consistency by those in authority. If the children of a country are its future, we need to support and protect them far better. They are all, including the perpetrators of these acts, showing the impacts of the dereliction of duty of care which is owed to them under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

They are becoming desensitised to the rights of others, particularly those most vulnerable. Just like a personal health crisis shows the need for immediate improvement in the self care of an individual, so a case like this shows us that a total re-evaluation needs to take place in both the way such cases are handled by authorities concerned and the provision of pre-emptive measures via education and awareness of youth in regard to matters concerning sexual conduct as well as attention directed to ongoing support and care of those affected by abuse and attack.

We all, as individuals and collectively, look in the mirror at stages in the process of our development and at times like this we do not like what we see. What we then do next is what determines the outcome. We could transform our shame into action; we could make Sri Lanka a case study of radical improvement and positive change, just from citizens’ activity and collective conduct. Social media and online communication platforms such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok are powerful instruments. Such a use of online resources to inform and uplift our community would be a remedy for the abuse of technology we have seen in this case where smartphone capacity was unconscionably abused, to shame and degrade one of our children.

Some members of the public are so desensitized that they indulge in laughter at the case. Many of us reading the details of this case may be struggling to have any empathy for the perpetrators, finding it hard to try and envisage or imagine why they engaged in this terrible behaviour repeatedly and over such a long period of time.
The emphasis in Sri Lanka in these matters always seems to be on punishment and retribution. This does not help. It is surely an illustration of a fear- based culture, which shames and blames, but where atrocities continue to occur. The perpetrators need counselling to restore their moral compass. Their identities are being protected while the legal charges are being formulated, as is that of their victim.

While researching this story, I found an endless store of images of girls covering their faces in fear and shame that are continually used to accompany the media articles concerning the case. It is sickening and also disturbing. Why not show images of the shameless perpetrators instead? Or at least artist renditions? It is the perpetrators that need to account for their actions. What they did, and the reasons they did it, once proved, actually disqualify them morally from being able to rejoin society without reforming their characters. The perpetrators should be the focus of the attention of the authorities, not the victim. Not just in this case, but in all such cases.

Punishment after the fact is not enough; pre-emptive education is needed.

Reframed: The power of women

Devika Brendon reflects on Anoma Wijewardene’s recent exhibition held during the SLDF.

Anoma Wijewardene’s latest exhibition took place, appropriately, at The City Of Dreams, the new Cinnamon Life Hotel, during the Sri Lanka Design Festival (SLDF). The artworks were captioned by poetic lines written by Ramya Jirasinghe. There were also contributions by other activists and writers, interspersed with the artworks in the form of placards.

Reflect: Reframe: Renew celebrates the magnificent power embodied in women to overcome the devastation inherent in our experiences of life and emerge transformed, just as the Earth renews itself after every catastrophe.

This series of paintings expressed in a variety of media by the artist Anoma Wijewardene incorporates the writings of the poet Ramya Chamalie Jirasinghe and Jayanthi Kuru Utumpala, the women’s rights activist and mountaineer. Anoma, Ramya and the activist Rosanna Flamer-Caldera participated in a vibrant conversation about creativity and the vital need for creative expression, in a panel discussion moderated with great insight by Radhika Hettiarachchi during the Design Festival.

The theme of the exhibition was ‘Reflect, Reframe, Renew’, and many of the images in the artworks and the words focused on women, and feminine energy. These are not at all soft skills: the capacity to reflect, both to mirror the world courageously and to confront the self and its experiences, to journey within, is an introspective process that requires great courage. What happens when we look at what the mirror reflects, and are challenged by what we see? Do we gloss it over, or do we regenerate?

Much of female experience in the world involves reframing narratives which exclude or limit us, or narrowly focus on whatever parts of us are deemed attractive or desirable. We are also required to support and console many of the hurt and suffering people in the world, helping them to reframe their sense of self and the trajectory of their life, after trauma or loss.

That recalibration requires a setting aside of the ego, and the understanding that we live not only physically in a material world, run by masculinist viewpoints and machines and money, but simultaneously a spiritual realm, in which our intuition and our energetic awareness and our capacity to imaginatively create and celebrate and wonder are our guides.

Renewal is a process that we as women intimately understand: cycles of body, mind and spirit define our lives. The natural world with its seasons and prompts, the budding and the blossoming and the shedding, all illustrate renewal. Seen and measured by the utility of our reproductive capacity, we need visual art like this to illustrate our multidimensional regenerative abilities, of healing and mending and again and again, the making of choices which shape the world.

Panel discussion from left: Rosanna Flamer-Caldera, Radhika Hettiarachchi, Anoma Wijewardene and Ramya Jirasinghe

The artworks are visually stunning, both individually and as a sequence. They use techniques of superimposition, which at times make them appear embossed: correlating images like human fingerprints and strands of hair against semi transparent human figures, and the weblike roots and branches of trees. The overall impression is that of Life, streaming through us, in a river of sensations and impressions. Some images look like frogspawn, some like strands of DNA, some like a mosaic of kaleidoscopic waterfalls, some like fragments of tears. Some of the human figures have nimbus-like radiance around their faces and heads. The artworks show us as made of water, and of glass, as Ramya’s poetic captions highlight. They show individual fractals in a collective stream of consciousness.

I had the pleasure a few years ago of doing part of the final copy editing of Anoma’s monograph titled ‘Anoma’, cataloguing and collating her entire life’s work, and this exhibition is a powerful addition to her oeuvre. In keeping with her lifelong preoccupations, it shows that the fragility of our human lives, and our heretofore careless misapprehension of our place in the natural world and the geopolitical spheres, which has led to the climate crisis we currently face, has only one remedy.

Give me one life. A woman: humble, proud, arrogant, lost, drained, searching, mad. A woman redeemed by her core that refused to become a lie.

We must awaken. To return to a sense of alignment and attunement, to ‘return to the heart’s centre’ to co-create, and co-exist. To use our sentience. In the poem ‘Renewal’, Ramya states in words what Anoma’s artwork illustrates: ‘Here every renewal must be self-made.’

Ramya’s poem ‘Deliverance’ expresses a hope that:
‘We will choose instead
The water that springs from
The earth at its darkest hour
And will hold in one
Cupped palm every possibility.
In a moment, on our own,
Each of us will return
To the singing winds
The lucid light and
Call our bodies this earth
This earth our raft.’

The whole experience of attending this exhibition and the discussion was an immersive and flowing one. The volunteer guides, the administrative staff, the interns and trainee curators, the individuals who helped pack and convey and hang the artworks in such an evocative way in the Mercedes Benz Gallery, were all exemplary in their professionalism.

Congratulations to all concerned!

In her artist’s statement for the exhibition, Anoma writes:
These are the best of times and the worst of times for women.

Individual women are breaking glass ceilings, becoming Presidents and Prime Ministers, heading corporations, flying into space as astronauts, winning Nobel prizes in the sciences and fighting on the frontlines with male soldiers.

At the same time violence against women throughout the world is on the rise and the vast majority of women are involved in care work in the family without any relief or support. In war zones they are killed, maimed and cower as bombs and drones destroy their families and every fabric of their society. In some countries they are denied schooling, employment and cannot leave home without a male relative. Women in many strata of society face sexual harassment and abuse with certain cities being notorious for their high incidence of rape.

In all societies they still remain victims of misogyny, dismissed and diminished in everyday life. Yet women comprise 49.72% of the global population.

In that sense the fight for women’s freedom is only beginning.

There is so much more to do.

Growing The Market For Local Fine Art

The first Charity Auction of Modern and Contemporary Sri Lankan Art was conducted by the renowned auction house Sotheby’s under the auspices of The George Keyt Foundation, on 9th December, at the Forum, in the new City Of Dreams at Cinnamon Life.

There were 46 pieces of modern and contemporary art and sculpture on the auctioneer’s block, donated by the artists themselves, or by artists’ estates, collectors and philanthropists. This was what is known as a ‘white glove’ auction, because every piece sold, and most lots sold for amounts far above the estimates. The proceeds from this auction are for charity, and to support The George Keyt Foundation, which is committed to encouraging emerging creative artists in Sri Lanka. People who registered, gave and bid generously as it was a charity auction, and to help the creative economy.

This auction superbly achieved its goal. Every part of the process was smooth and orderly, presided over by Sotheby’s world wide Co-Head, Director of Modern and Contemporary South Asian Art, auctioneer Ishrat Kanga, and facilitated by a panel of George Keyt Foundation observers led by Malaka Talwatte, on the watch for incoming bids from all parts of the crowded venue. The artworks themselves had been on display in an adjoining room for the past few days, and there had been fundraising dinners, and panel discussions illuminating various aspects of the event, in the buildup to the auction itself.

In conversation with the artists Prof Emeritus Jagath Weerasinghe, Mariah Lookman and Anoma Wijewardene, Ishrat Kanga had pointed out the significance of the ‘43 Group not only in Sri Lankan but world art, and the pride that we should all feel as a country that so many great painters and creative artists have been born and worked and found inspiration here. Sri Lanka in all its complexity is the prompt for incredible creativity, and this is now becoming clear to all, with the kind of commitment shown by the organisers of this event.

Until recently, and globally, art has been seen as exclusively the realm of the wealthy and the highly educated elite. In Sri Lanka, with its economic challenges in recent years, when basic commodities were in short supply for a large percentage of the population, the making and selling of fine art was definitely seen as a luxury and viewed by many as ‘non-essential’. Food on the table was more important than art on the walls. But an interest in making and owning art is a sign that we are not just surviving, but thriving.

So this auction was an indication of how wealthy some citizens of contemporary Sri Lanka are, and a clear sign that the art loving purchasers are willing to invest handsomely in the creative effort and enterprise of their own local artists. This interest raises the value of all the art works not only in this auction, but the wider bodies of work created by all the artists who participated, and by extension the broader artistic community.

The catalogue for this auction was beautifully designed and presented. The photographs of the artworks within its pages are vibrant, clear and detailed, and it also incorporates sections which outline the procedures involved in registering to bid, and to participate in the auction. There had clearly been a great deal of thought and dedication involved in presenting this event, and the ways in which the artworks were made visually accessible to members of the public who were first time auction attendees, or unsure of the procedure, were very effective. The young team at the welcome desk were extremely helpful, patient and professional in dealing with the attendees.

There had been great interest in several of the items prior to the commencement of bidding, and the big seller of the event, featured on the cover of the catalogue, started at 17 million LKR and sold ultimately for 24 million LKR. The bold, distinctive work of George Keyt himself, and that of the brilliant Stanley Kirinde, went for comparatively lower prices, when their renowned reputations are considered, although the prices were still substantial in relation to their initial presentation. In contrast, the works of the younger generation of contemporary artists were spiritedly bid for, and the auction brought their work into a higher platform of recognition and appreciation.

It was noticeable that the more hard hitting political pieces and the more subtle and layered works were less sought after than those presenting profusions of flowers, and splashes and explosions of bright colour. Perhaps it will take a few more auctions like this for the valuation of art in the country to expand and become more refined, to include appreciation of aspects of geopolitical history, and philosophy, on the part of the public.

For this, the younger generation must be made more aware of the rich history that is our collective legacy. Public and private art galleries are now understanding the value of educating their audience, and the whole process of viewing, interpreting, analysing and appreciating art is being made more accessible to all, although acquiring and owning the artworks is still only possible for a relative few.

The valuation of art is a subjective and subtle realm. Far more than even its monetary or market value, is the value of the effect of shape, form, texture and aesthetic impact on a person who lives with a work created by another human being. You can see a sculpture like the compelling ‘Jupiter’ by Sanjaya Geekiyanage, in diverse ways, and from multiple perspectives: the crafted face of the father of the gods, with spirals of copper emerging from his mind space, like the imagining of the cosmos itself.

Included in the value of each art work is its provenance, the multilayered story told by its form and design, the materials used by the artist to convey their insight and vision, and the details of the life of the artist who created it: what place each work holds in the overall creative landscape of each creator. This value increases over time, the more we learn and appreciate the works of the artists amongst us.

Power To The People

Image Credit: John Lennon YouTube Channel

Reflecting on the recent elections in both Sri Lanka and the US is an interesting exercise particularly because, as the two countries now have synchronized election cycles, comparisons and contrasts are readily evident.

The US has presented itself for decades as a beacon of democracy: progressive and inclusive and an upholder of human rights within its borders. However, the prospective 47th president of the US and the team he is appointing seem to be getting ready to preside over the demolition of democracy and the erosion of many rights and freedoms, particularly for the most vulnerable groups in the country.

By endorsing the rights of billionaires, tech bros and capitalists; asserting the rights of those who have committed multiple atrocities against women and girls; and prioritizing the territorial and occupancy rights of proud white Anglo European Americans over the multi-hued peoples who have until now dreamed the American dream, the new administration is going to complete what the thugs who assaulted the Capitol on January 6, 2021 began. They play exclusionary politics inciting human fear, focusing on a message of survivalism and thriving on adversarial combat, heedless of the destruction that ensues and even glorying in that destruction, describing any challenge to their bullish, self-serving narrative as “whining” and “fake news”.

This hostile takeover siege of the US mindscape has destroyed what the country has taken centuries to build, in just a few desperate years.

Qualified representatives
In contrast, Sri Lanka is emerging from a haphazard 75 years since independence with a record number of female politicians in the new government including for the first time several ministers representing the minority Tamil community. These are educated, professional people, ready to lead and mindful of their responsibilities to the people who have elected them. Few of them come from elite or privileged backgrounds and the nepotism and cronyism that characterized the previous administrations are not likely to take hold in what is clearly a meritocracy.

Their first act, now that the results of voting are being finalized, is to request that all incoming MPs undergo training and familiarization with legal and political protocols and procedures during a three day period of briefings and training.

A second positive step is that no MPs will be permitted to hire spouses, children or family members as part of their personal team of advisors or ministerial staff.

The instant recall of politically appointed diplomats and government representatives after the presidential election a few weeks ago was also a clear sign of the consistency with which new policies are being enacted.

Politicians and those claiming to be dedicated to enacting the will of the people are now being held accountable. Performance reviews are clearly being undertaken. Those who demonstrably do not add any value to the political process or the country’s reputation are being disqualified. The swamp, to use a recent American metaphor, is being effectively drained.

There is a lot at stake for both countries. The societal outrage that built up in Sri Lanka in 2022, erupting in the aragalaya, has been effectively channelled in a positive way in the formal election of this new government. The election has completed the dissolution of corrupt and outdated governance that the aragalaya began.

A new accountability
However, the people have suffered a great deal over the past several years and will be expecting very high standards of performance from the new administration. The abolition of the executive presidency will be a crucial first step and a test of political integrity.

The united scorn of the voters against the previous incumbents was shown not only by the noticeably low number of votes that previous MPs, particularly the loudest and most notable, received at these polls. It was an extraordinary sight to see, posted by every major print newspaper’s social media page, pictures of the unsuccessful candidates with the words Out!, Lost!, Gone! and Failed! stamped over the pictures of their faces. Only the most brazen of these people have sought to get a seat in parliament via the national lists, having not secured enough personal votes at the election.

Authoritarianism is expressed most openly when any individual wields absolute executive power and this has been demonstrated multiple times in many countries. If a leader has the support of a majority, they often believe they can dismiss or ignore the voices of the minority who did not support them. The people as a whole are given lip service and are only listened to once every few years as election dates approach and ignored wholesale for all the years between. If voters are uneducated regarding their rights and responsibilities, the true power of democracy is white-anted until only a facade remains providing no shelter in any storm.

The US is chaotically lurching towards authoritarianism and the cowboys and cowgirls at the helm seem to be glorying in the thrills involved in the public demise of the values of the founding fathers. In the name of patriotism, a return to colonialist settler values is being imposed: Christian prayers are to be said in all schools; the erasure of difference or divergence – whether related to sexual preference or neurological status – which is called dangerous or abnormal or deviant, enforced; and the forcible annihilation of pronouns and gender identity and reproductive choices that challenge the idea of anyone not wanting to populate the country in a binary way undertaken resulting in a retrofitted society with trad wives subservient to masculinist husbands – A Handmaid’s Tale territory. And fueling this retrograde is the backlash against feminism, the rise of incels and the normalization of “high value” and “high worth” standards used to describe men and women but being sourced only in terms of the income a person earns rather than their character and their conduct.

Reprehensible conduct
The discourse adopted by the incoming team of robo bros is indicative of the way they intend to dominate the Disunited States. Mockery by stereotypes: Childless cat ladies. Disabled people whose vulnerabilities are seen as offensive by those who are not disabled. Darkies. Savages. Trash people. Garbage people. Losers. Failures. All these phrases are fascist projections of disturbed and contemptuous mindsets that identify physical perfection as being exclusively embodied by seven foot tall, super rich, blue eyed blondes.

North America, unbelievably to the people proud to be American in the past, may become part of a protectionist Aryan hegemony like something out of space fiction. Narrowing its citizens’ minds, suppressing books that threaten its sense of historical evangelical destiny, tarnishing its legacy as an upholder of human dignity while shining up the dollar signs and appointing sex offenders as national role models. Calling itself a “First World Country” with an International Dial Code of #1 while its leaders intimidate their own voting citizens and encourage abuse and violence towards those who fall outside the criteria now being imposed on them. It starts with illegal and undocumented immigrants and mass deportations. But as anyone who has ever deep cleaned their own house will testify, cleaning and clearing and de-cluttering can become addictive after awhile. Where does it stop?

In contrast, Sri Lanka appears at last to be positively embracing diversity and opening itself to the reality that people of varied experiences and capacities can grow in leadership. The active and dynamic citizens’ justice movements that have emerged in adverse circumstances have created an ecosystem which has determinedly brought increased awareness of human dignity and the rights of the vulnerable into the social and cultural landscape, questioning the traditional patriarchal values and the feudal class systems which have suppressed the contributions of many talented individuals. The economic hardships suffered by the citizens over the past years have tested their resilience and they take nothing for granted. Social division and the politics of contempt and derision is something that no one wants, having been collectively jerked around like puppets by racist ideologues for decades.

Unlike the citizens of the US, most Sri Lankans do not feel entitled to anything they have not earned including international recognition and respect. On a personal note, US citizens engaged in international discussions on social media seem to automatically assume that every post on FB is referring to them and that they and their concerns are the center of every thought and conversation. It is over-reach. The whole world is not a backdrop for their narcissistic motion picture. Any nation which ceases to look beyond its borders will stagnate.

I predict that, if Sri Lanka’s financial and economic situation continues to improve, through collective focused effort a far greater autonomy can be achieved by this small island nation, which consistently punches above its weight in the talent, creativity and capability of its people. It will be possible for a better awareness of human rights and the dignity of citizens to grow in a more stable country where corruption in all its brazen and insidious forms is stymied.

Once the swamp is cleared and the sovereign soil reclaimed, we could find that very soil, steeped in decades of mud and mire, offering fertile possibilities. The national flower, the lotus, which famously emerges and flourishes in the most dire conditions, will then become an even more meaningful symbol for us all. Then people seeking better prospects need not look overseas for them.

What could we see happening, if the brakes and limitations that have operated on this country are summarily dissolved and removed?

What will we see when people frustrated by corruption, cronyism and normalized low standards of conduct, are incentivized and supported to become their best selves? This will be the self governance that a former colony has always wanted. In shining contrast to nations who have built their wealth on colonial exploitation and forceful slave labor and laid the foundations of their societies on the oppression of others.

Examples of what to be, what not to be.

Sri Lankan people today are going in a sociopolitical direction that will place them in a better position than bigger and wealthier nations in the years to come. 22.4 million people are far easier to manage, educate and effectively resource than 334.9 million. And after everything we have collectively experienced, we will hopefully start to unshackle ourselves from the horrors in our own history, both imposed and self-created.

Lessons have been learned by Sri Lanka, which we hope will not be forgotten in the years to come. However, the US is likely to be an example to the world, over the next few years, of the dangers of indulging in the compulsions of our baser selves. We can watch it all on television as an example of what not to be. When Elon Musk boastfully tweeted “Game. Set. And match” in the immediate aftermath of the US election, it was the crowing of a death watch not only over the Democratic Party but the heralding of a new dark ages. America the self-styled beacon of democracy will see many of its cherished values wither in that darkness. Its much vaunted wealth and economic force are now being marshalled by grabbing individuals to whom a sense of inclusive community is anathema.

The country that gave us 150 years of great literature, cinema, art and culture, which housed and supported some of the greatest expressions of human talent and artistry the world has ever seen, which embraced people from all cultures and races in the 20th century and provided a place in which they could reach their fulfillment, is now shutting its borders and dumbing itself down, preparing to be presided over by a bunch of stormtroopers who learned their moral values from computer games and pornography.

It’s not entertainment. It’s a tragic display. We in South Asia have endured this kind of abusive politics for decades. We would not wish it on anyone.

In Sri Lanka, we used to call ourselves a resplendent land. In the years to come, we are set to shine again. We will be over here, being our best selves, raising the value of our passports. And questioning anyone who tries to come here illegally. After 500 plus years of colonisation, we know what bullying looks like. We have a right to defend ourselves and a right to prosper. The true enemy of the people until recently has been our own misplaced aspirations, learned helplessness and the ease with which we have been manipulated.

Recent events have shown us the capacity of people power to change the trajectory of a country’s future. Vistas of splendor and prosperity proved to be mirages and evaporated in Sri Lanka in the heat of 2022. A sense of awareness of the bitter suffering and frustration of the collective was felt throughout the country and is now being acted on in a unifying way which recognises and respects individual difference and diverse experience.

In contrast, in the US and in contradiction of every principle of democracy, hierarchy and social division are evident: public discourse is increasingly acrimonious and incendiary and people are being labelled as “The 1%” and “The Rest”, as winners and losers. The sneering and contempt which have become normalized in the past decade between adherents of the two major political parties are being modelled by its leaders.

The next few years will see one country course correcting, engaged in self monitoring and conscious reform and the other violently sweeping away many advancements in the name of “strength” and “national pride”. Actions will speak loudly and it is the actions of both sets of leaders that will impact the citizens of both countries.

The people who have tried to game the system will lose. Politics is not a game played for entertainment. It is people’s lives and hopes that are at stake. The winners in this new era are those who will care for something more than themselves and their own fame and aggrandizement. Any leader who does not embody and enact the best values of the whole populace is a loser before his own inauguration, no matter what demands and delusions are bellowed through megaphones and magaphones.

Youth Suicide

Image Credit: UCLA Health

The recent incidents reported in the Sri Lankan media regarding youth suicides have revealed that the mental and emotional wellbeing of our children is in serious decline.I extend my sincere condolences to the families of the young people we have lost. My thoughts expressed in this article are general observations, and in no way reflect on any one person, individually. In my own circle, two of my friends and colleagues have lost older children in the last few weeks. All of us are struggling to understand this situation.

The traditional cultural values upheld by the community have stressed the importance of family dignity and respect and recognition; and status, and academic success and achievement, awards and certificates and trophies are generally seen as measures of a functional child.

Appearances vs Reality
This focus on appearances is a problem when it comes to dealing with the issues of mental health, which are seen as shameful, and embarrassing, and a sign of dysfunction, vulnerability and weakness in the family.

Many children and young people today, even those aged into their late twenties, are in a very vulnerable emotional condition. In their formative years, their parents are often physically and emotionally unavailable, and the extended family system is not always reliable or trustworthy. Many children in these circumstances become over-reliant on social media influencers, content creators and peers for understanding and support. Furthermore, they are being told to respect elders and authority figures who themselves fall short of high ethical standards. They see politicians and other public figures being charged with lapses and breaches of conduct, which must make them very confused about what the society around them has valued or allowed.

Parents who are materially successful, especially in the urban setting of Sri Lanka, are often working in high stress corporate environments, and have emotional management problems and anger issues, engage in domestic violence which they attempt to rationalize, and have alcohol and even drug abuse problems, which impact their ability to communicate with their children. Many, whether they recognize it or not, have outsourced their parenting responsibilities, to service their own drive to fulfill their personal monetary aspirations and social ambitions. Many parents see the children as mere extensions of themselves, and not as individuals in their own right. Many do not recognise personal boundaries in their relationships and family dynamics, and young people feel violated or harassed by the insensitivity of those around them.

When their child shows signs of having problems at school or in their friendship groups, many parents do not know how to cope. Hampered by social stigma, they attempt to monitor their children, lay down rules, and drive the inner feelings of the children underground. Children also feel ashamed to present anything less than a perfect picture to parents whom they love and respect very greatly. Asking for help is felt by many to be shaming their parents.

Coverup or Confront
In common with many countries adopting the capitalist commercial model of success, in modern Sri Lanka there is a tendency to cover over the problems, or medicate them out of visible sight or expression. The frequent biomedicalisation of mental health and over medicating by our mental health professionals can be seen in this context.

But medication for depression and anxiety are not sufficient in themselves. For best results, counselling support and therapy are also recommended, in conjunction. It is the self awareness gained from therapeutic engagement and awakening of our consciousness which results in insight into our emotional state. Behavioural adjustments need proactive conscious participation by the individual. Medication is a more external approach, used to stabilize mood, and which creates some passivity rather than activity in the individual.

When the emotions are more regulated, self awareness can begin to develop. Young people today are unfortunately dismissed or even sneered at for being ‘sensitive’ or ‘too soft’ by their parents and teachers, who are not taking into account the huge toxic effect of social media and the impact of the digital age, with its virtual reality and manipulated presentations, on the children of this era.

Without the vital protective barrier and filter provided by caring and informed adults and caregivers, without the ability to discuss and think through world events and societal issues, with their opinions being taken seriously, children’s minds and imaginations are exposed to, and under siege from, some truly horrific elements in the world today, which even adults find difficult to comprehend and process.

For a child to trust their teachers and parents, there must be a history of communication between the adults and the child. Empathy must be cultivated by caregivers. When a child’s behaviour shows what we call ‘maladjustment’ or ‘problems’, too often the severity, judgmentalism and punitive approach of traditional culture unconsciously comes into effect. Shame, belittlement, comparisons, accusations, scolding, and expressions of parental disappointment have a profound effect on young people, whose self worth is not yet developed, and who are very vulnerable to the opinions of those around them.

The irony of the modern world is that we have the benefit of great technological advances in communication, but are not finding time or space to connect in person, face to face, in a way which encourages communicative honesty and openness. The global pandemic and the enforced isolation that it engendered, with lockdowns and restrictions and social distancing, highlighted the loneliness and emotional isolation that many people felt, and especially those feeling trapped in situations which they felt to be damaging, beset by problems which felt unsolvable.

Retreat or Resilience
When we attain a certain number of years of experience in this world, no matter what our circumstances are, we have all survived several instances in which we have failed to get something we wanted, or have been disappointed in some way. We have experienced fear and anxiety, and learned how to navigate these. We have been able to build resilience, and re-evaluate, and deal with more complex realities as we progress.

Young people, with relatively few years and events in their catalogue of life experience, do not have that resilience or the capacity to build momentum and create positive change without assistance. Some try to reach out, but they reach out to unhelpful people or damaging entities; and the negative impact these setbacks have is felt more sharply because of their relative inexperience.

Hunger and thirst for popularity, social status, a desirable physical appearance, academic grades, abilities in sports, and other activities, articulacy, sense of belonging, the irreplaceable feeling of being understood and validated by their home environment and family members, are all factors which converge to create the emotional landscape and infrastructure of any child. Hardly anyone has all the factors perfectly in place. Human life is developmental, and always a work in progress.

Many of the young people who have taken their own lives recently look, in the photographs and tributes shared on social media about them, to have been blessed with beauty, good character, good minds, and good hearts, and all that a person could ask for: all the support and encouragement and all the resources that loving parents can give them. The difference between the appearance and how they were feeling within their hearts and minds, when they made their choice not to live, is starkly shown by the tragic events we read about in the news.

This opens the issue which many of us are only just realising now, of the false comparisons encouraged by social media. Inspired by the shiny lure of ‘Insta fame’, and ungrounded by any substantial knowledge or understanding of the world, human nature, or themselves, many young people judge their own raw material of face and figure and personality against highly artificial constructed entities on Tik Tok and Instagram. It’s a visual culture, which prompts comparison, peer envy and competitiveness. And sadly many feel lost before they start, judging themselves by false standards.

Parents and teachers who create time for their children, who have the energy and emotional bandwidth to listen to them and hear their views of the world, are like 24 carat gold. They are investing in their children in a way that goes far deeper than providing them with schooling and extra activities and material gifts. The inner resources developed through consistently interacting with a caring person whose values are moral and ethical, and go deeper than money, pride and status, are the real ‘wealth’ that a young person should be able to access all their life.

Shut Down, Shut Up, Shut Off
Parents and teachers confronted by ‘difficult’ children need to see past the frustrations presented on the surface to the sadness and confusion underneath the outbursts or the silences. Self awareness, self control and sensitivity are needed to really understand, to stand under, and provide foundational support, for our young people. Currently, most Sri Lankan schools do not have school counsellors, or provide classes in emotional self regulation and mental health as part of support for students’ physical and psychological well being. Importantly, they do not teach or model an integrated sense of health and well-being, incorporating body, mind and spirit.

The stoicism that many of us were taught would carry us through makes us rigid, and is not the appropriate response to support the younger generation who are navigating the world today. ‘Stiff upper lips’ and suppression of emotions actually undermine our emotional intelligence, and our capacity to endure, putting immense pressure on individuals to present as being fine, when in fact they feel far from comfortable, or safe, or secure. This younger generation care for the world around them, and are deeply affected by its troubled state. This should be respected.

However, adolescents are not adept at differentiating between real trauma and what feels like trauma. Without discernment, they may not be able to form a sense of scale to measure the severity of what they are experiencing, nor know how to de-escalate and manage the intensity of their feelings. Every life contains times of stress and struggle, and it is unhelpful to not realise and accept the normalcy of some level of difficulty.

Capacity Building
This is where trained professional psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and therapists can provide, model and embody vital resources and capacities for the whole community at this juncture. Their skills and knowledge and expertise are essential to help us understand how to assist and support ourselves, and others, in situations of crisis, conflict and challenge.

The Sri Lankan National Association of Counsellors (SRILNAC) Home Page - SRILNAC [Sri Lanka National Association of Counsellors] have recently produced a publication, entitled ‘Youth: A Mindful Journey’, to identify the issues confronting the young people of Sri Lanka today:

SRILNAC Publication Mental Health Day 2024 | PDF to Flipbook

The more parents and teachers are informed of such resources, the more timely, comprehensive and clearcut support can be provided for our children and young people in their formative years. Many mental health experts have unfortunately migrated to other countries over the past few years, owing to the recent economic and political crisis. This is a great loss to the country, as their expertise is needed today more than ever before.

However, the onus is on all of us as a community to educate and inform ourselves, encourage young people to develop their capacities for self understanding, and to train as psychologists and counsellors; and honour everyone who gives mental health and well-being the respect and attention they deserve. We can see that many young social media stars are actively using their large Instagram and Tik Tok platforms to share resources, create podcast discussions and mental health circles, aiming to encourage their peers to reach out for the help we all need at times, free of social stigma, and to extend compassion to themselves as well as others, in an inclusive and respectful way.

The loneliness, isolation and vulnerability experienced by our youth can and must be met with more informed understanding. Collectively, collaboratively, a greater support structure can be created by our whole community at every level, to enable our young people to have confidence in the future, and in themselves.

Ethereal, Awakened Art

Anoma Wijewardene’s latest Exhibition took place, appropriately, at The City Of Dreams, the new Cinnamon Life Hotel, during the Sri Lanka Design Festival. The artworks were captioned by poetic lines written by Ramya Jirasinghe. There were also contributions by other activists and writers, interspersed with the artworks in the form of placards.

Reflect:Reframe:Renew celebrates the magnificent power embodied in women to overcome the devastation inherent in our experiences of life and emerge transformed, just as the Earth renews itself after every catastrophe.

These series of paintings expressed in a variety of media by the artist Anoma Wijewardene incorporate the writings of the poet Ramya Chamalie Jirasinghe and Jayanthi Kuru Utumpala, the women’s rights activist and mountaineer. Anoma, Ramya and the activist Rosanna Flamer-Caldera participated in a vibrant conversation moderated with insight and verve by Radhika Hettiarachchi, focusing on creativity and the vital need for creative expression, in a panel discussion during the Festival.

The theme of the exhibition was ‘Reflect, Reframe, Renew’, and many of the images in the artworks and the words focused on women, and feminine energy. These are not at all soft skills: the capacity to reflect, both to mirror the world courageously and to confront the self and its experiences, to journey within, is an introspective process that requires great resilience. What happens when we look at what the mirror reflects, and are challenged by what we see? Do we gloss it over, or do we regenerate?

Much of female experience in the world involves reframing narratives which exclude or limit us, or narrowly focus on whatever parts of us are deemed attractive or desirable. We are also required to support and console many of the hurt and suffering people in the world, helping them to reframe their sense of self and the trajectory of their life, after trauma or loss.

That recalibration requires a setting aside of the ego, and the understanding that we live not only physically in a material world, run by masculinist viewpoints and machines and money, but simultaneously a spiritual realm, in which our intuition and our energetic awareness and our capacity to imaginatively create and celebrate and wonder are our guides.

Renewal is a process that we as women intimately understand: cycles of body, mind and spirit define our lives. The natural world with its seasons and prompts, the budding and the blossoming and the shedding, all illustrate renewal. Seen and measured by the utility of our reproductive capacity, we need visual art like this to illustrate our multidimensional regenerative abilities, of healing and mending and again and again, the making of choices which shape the world.

The artworks are visually stunning, both individually and as a sequence. They use techniques of superimposition, which at times make them appear embossed: correlating images like human fingerprints and strands of hair against semi transparent human figures, and the weblike roots and branches of trees. The overall impression is that of Life, streaming through us, in a river of sensations and impressions. Some images look like frogspawn, some like strands of DNA, some like mosaic of kaleidoscopic waterfalls, some like fragments of tears. Some of the human figures have nimbus-like radiance around their faces and heads. The artworks show us as made of water, and of glass, as Ramya Jirasinghe’s poetic captions highlight. They show individual fractals in a collective stream of consciousness.

I had the pleasure a few years ago of doing part of the final copy editing of Anoma’s monograph, titled ‘Anoma’, cataloguing and collating her entire life’s work, and this exhibition is a powerful addition to her oeuvre. In keeping with her lifelong preoccupations, it shows that the fragility of our human lives, and our heretofore careless misapprehension of our place in the natural world and the geopolitical spheres, which has led to the climate crisis we currently face, has only one remedy.

We must awaken. To return to a sense of alignment and attunement, to ‘return to the heart’s centre’ to co-create, and co-exist. To use our sentience. In the poem ‘Renewal’, Ramya states in words what Anoma’s artwork illustrates: ‘Here every renewal must be self-made.’

Ramya Jirasinghe’s poem ‘Deliverance’ expresses a hope that:

‘We will choose instead
The water that springs from
The earth at its darkest hour
And well hold in one
Cupped palm every possibility.
In a moment, on our own,
Each of us will return
To the singing winds
The lucid light and
Call our bodies this earth
This earth our raft.’

The whole experience of attending this exhibition and the discussion was an immersive and flowing one. The volunteer guides, the administrative staff, the interns and trainee curators, the individuals who helped pack and convey and hang the artworks in such an evocative way in the Mercedes Benz Gallery, were all exemplary in their professionalism.

Congratulations to all concerned!

To Have And To Hold: Controlling Behaviour and Marital Violence

There has been a noticeable increase in the amount of public attention directed towards the lack of safety felt by women and girls, in the last few years. The global movement 16 Days Of Activism to support the Elimination of Violence Against Women has gained momentum. And it is not merely emblematic or performative. It is supported by the year long everyday practice of grassroots organizations, working to help women escaping from incidents of violence and terror in their own homes, doing the ongoing work of providing refuges, and safe places, advice on medical, legal and financial matters, and assisting women fleeing from domestic terrorism to find their standing in society again.

In the past several weeks, the case of Gisele Pelicot in France has drawn attention to a significant change in the way that the public perception of victims of domestic violence and domestic assault has moved from condemnation of the victim to accusation of the perpetrators.

And locally in Sri Lanka, a woman with a reputation as a successful entrepreneur and beauty professional has spoken publicly on the Pulse programme hosted by Aritha Wickremasinghe about the violence she endured in her marriage. The Shhh! Talk About Taboos YouTube show hosted by Shanuki De Alwis has opened up the issue of domestic violence in a programme called ‘Unbeaten’. In every case, the aim has been to destigmatise the experience of enduring violence, and holding the perpetrators accountable.

These stories are hard to tell, and also very difficult to hear. It is shocking to hear women describe the disrespect, the abusive language, the verbal contempt and the insults and accusations directed at them, and the escalating violence they endure within the supposed sanctity of their homes. Underlying all the stories is a compulsive controlling behaviour on the part of the male partner, which manifests both in small and large ways.

Indeed, in the early stages of connection, control may seem to be a sign of authority, of dominance, of masterfulness, which many of us are socially trained to find attractive. We may feel that a man’s signs of jealousy or desire to know our whereabouts or dictate what we wear or how we conduct ourselves is a sign of our partner’s positive attention, of their love, of their sense of ownership.

The words of the marriage ceremony in many cultures include strong indications of this exclusivity, and the promises made for generations have included a sense of submission of the female partner to the male. He is supposed to be her protector and provider. In exchange for this mantle of security, she offers her devotion and her obedience, and respect for his authority.

Romance novels, romcom movies, and almost every airbrushed fairytale with a happy ending venerates this dynamic. Most compelling are the storylines in which the woman saves the man, and inspires him to be a better being. Bad boys and even beasts are seen as redeemable, if they are loved by the ‘right woman’.

However, the basis of this understanding is often fractured, by the male partner’s assertion of their entitlement in violation of the woman’s dignity and safety and right to autonomy. Most recently, in the wake of the recent U.S. Election, we have seen the ‘Your Body, My Choice’ slogan being formed to mock women’s right to make decisions about their reproductive choices, and bodily autonomy.

In days gone by, a woman might proudly describe herself as ‘spoken for’, when a man asks her to marry him. It’s a sign of her value, of her desirability and her viability. Why then, after entering the marriage commitment, so many women find themselves depreciated, devalued and degraded?

Victim blaming is an inherent aspect of this kind of abuse. And it is not only the specific perpetrators who engage in this misdirected judgment and scorn, but society and the community at large. This above all is the pivotal point at which all the activism in this area has been directed. The perpetrators seem to feel no shame, and any pity they feel is directed towards themselves and their grievances, for which they try to blame their partner.

This violent behaviour, psychological, emotional and physical, occurs within a wider society which has objectified women and sexualised girls. The men’s aggressive behaviour and early warning signs of their gross disrespect have been normalized or excused as the result of alcoholism or drug abuse, or ‘anger management issues’. The women they attack are blamed for provoking them.

It is shocking to hear women describe the disrespect, the abusive language, the verbal contempt and the insults and accusations directed at them, and the escalating violence they endure within the supposed sanctity of their homes.

The emergence of the ‘Shadow Pandemic’ of rising domestic violence in the past four years drew attention to the problem in an intense way, as women and children were forced by law to remain within the confines of their home, at danger to themselves if their partner was abusive to them and their children. Economic dependence on an abusive spouse, rising unemployment levels in society, and the sense of worthlessness as well as economic vulnerability generated by job loss in these years resulted in escalating domestic violence.

Also in these years, and compounded by the internet platforms like Tik Tok and Instagram, the rise of the incel movement has intensified the existing misogyny which was already prevalent in society. Women in such belief systems are seen as playing games with men, entrapping them, using them, exploiting them, rejecting - and above all, disrespecting them, are a threat to the stereotypical masculine sense of pride.

In the 1990s, judges in the U.K. and Australia were on record as stating that ‘a little rough handling’ was acceptable in marriage. This euphemism showed the disrespect that even highly educated authority figures have directed towards ‘women’s issues’, and the damaging effect that masculine entitlement has had on the ways issues are perceived and laws enacted and applied, to govern our behaviour.

Gisele Pelicot’s case shows a woman being drugged without her knowledge or consent, and offered by her husband in her unconscious condition to multiple perpetrators of rape. These assaults on her body and her dignity were recorded on video - a further violation of her rights to privacy and respect - in her own marital home, and in the marital bed that she unknowingly shared with her husband.
The case in its extreme circumstances sharply highlights the core principle of consent, which is the basis of all civilized relationships.


Marital Rape in Sri Lanka: The Legal and Social Context
Marital rape is a deeply concerning issue that remains under-addressed in Sri Lanka. While non-consensual sex within marriage has been criminalized in many countries across the globe, Sri Lanka continues to uphold a legal exemption for marital rape under its Penal Code. This exemption, which was reinforced through the 1995 Amendment (Section 363(d)), treats rape within marriage as an exception, allowing husbands to have sexual intercourse with their wives without the need for consent, unless they are judicially separated. This legal framework, stemming from patriarchal beliefs about marriage and gender roles, places Sri Lanka in the minority of countries that have not yet fully recognized marital rape as a crime.

The understand this issue we must explore the socio-cultural factors that have contributed to the persistence of the marital rape exemption, compare the legal situation in Sri Lanka with other jurisdictions that have criminalized marital rape, and propose pathways for reform that prioritize the protection of victims, particularly women, from sexual violence in marriage.

Legal Landscape: Historical Context and Current Laws
In Sri Lanka, the legal treatment of marital rape remains a significant gap in the country's legal protections against sexual violence. Section 363(d) of the Sri Lankan Penal Code, as amended in 1995, provides an exemption for husbands from being charged with rape if they engage in non-consensual sex with their wives. This exemption only applies when the wife and husband are not judicially separated or living apart under a written agreement. This outdated provision reflects long-standing patriarchal views of marriage as an institution in which the wife’s consent is assumed, regardless of her personal wishes or autonomy.

Historically, the concept of marital rape was not recognized by law in many parts of the world, rooted in the view that marriage granted husbands the "right" to sexual access to their wives. This idea of "conjugal rights" perpetuates a sense of entitlement, where consent is presumed simply because of the marital bond. In Sri Lanka, this concept continues to influence the legal framework, with the justice system failing to protect victims of marital rape adequately. The protection offered to victims under the 2005 Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA) does not explicitly address marital rape, which creates significant legal ambiguity and gaps in justice for victims.

Although the PDVA allows victims of domestic violence, including sexual assault, to seek protective orders, the legal scope is limited, and it does not directly address the criminalization of marital rape. Furthermore, despite attempts at reform, such as the proposal by former Minister of Women’s Affairs, Thalatha Athukorala, to amend Clause 362A of the Penal Code, marital rape remains largely uncriminalized. This proposal, which was intended to criminalize marital rape, was referred to the Legal Draftsman and promised to be presented to Parliament in 2018. However, due to political and social resistance, the law was not passed, leaving the issue unresolved.

Comparative Perspectives: Global Legal Responses to Marital Rape
A key part of this analysis is a comparative legal approach to examining how other countries have dealt with the issue of marital rape. In nations like the United Kingdom, the United States, Canada, Australia, and India, marital rape is explicitly criminalized, reflecting a growing recognition of sexual autonomy and the need to protect individuals from violence, regardless of marital status.
For instance, in the United Kingdom, the law has consistently upheld the principle that consent is necessary in all sexual activities, regardless of the relationship between the individuals involved. The idea that marriage gives the husband a blanket "right" to sexual access has been unequivocally rejected. Similarly, in the United States, the legal framework around marital rape has evolved over time, with most states now criminalizing non-consensual sex within marriage. The shift in legal attitudes reflects broader societal changes in attitudes toward gender equality and the protection of women’s rights.

In India, marital rape remains a contentious issue. While the law does not criminalize marital rape under most circumstances, there has been growing advocacy for its inclusion in legal definitions of rape. India’s legal system, like Sri Lanka’s, continues to struggle with balancing traditional views of marriage with the principles of gender equality and personal autonomy.

Australia, on the other hand, has made significant strides in criminalizing marital rape. The country’s laws now treat sexual violence in marriage the same as any other form of rape, with a focus on consent and victim protection. These international examples highlight the growing global consensus that marriage does not imply consent and that sexual violence within marriage should be treated with the same severity as any other form of sexual assault.

Barriers to Reform in Sri Lanka
Despite global shifts in legal thought and social attitudes, Sri Lanka faces significant barriers to criminalizing marital rape. One of the main obstacles is the deep-rooted patriarchal mindset that continues to influence the country’s legal, social, and cultural frameworks. In many parts of Sri Lanka, traditional gender roles and attitudes toward marriage still dominate, leading to widespread acceptance of the notion that a wife’s consent is secondary to the husband's perceived rights.

There is also considerable resistance from certain religious and cultural groups that view the criminalization of marital rape as a challenge to the sanctity of marriage. These views often overlap with concerns about protecting family integrity and maintaining social order. Additionally, the political will to tackle such deeply ingrained issues is often lacking, with lawmakers fearing backlash from conservative factions of society.
Moreover, Sri Lanka’s legal system faces structural challenges that prevent the full implementation of protections for women. For instance, while the PDVA allows victims to seek protection orders, the actual enforcement of these orders can be inconsistent. Police officers, courts, and other institutions involved in the justice system may not always be adequately trained or equipped to handle cases of domestic violence, particularly when it involves marital rape.

The Path Forward: Reform and Advocacy
The recent proposal by Sri Lanka’s Minister of Justice, Wijedasa Rajapakshe, to amend the Penal Code and criminalize marital rape (with the exception of cases where judicial separation has occurred) marks a significant development in the fight for gender justice. The proposed amendment, however, was met with public backlash, particularly due to another controversial amendment concerning the age of consent. As a result, the amendment was retracted, though it remains under revision. This incident underscores the deep-seated resistance to legal reforms that challenge traditional views on marriage and gender roles.

For true progress to be made, there needs to be a comprehensive approach to reforming the legal framework surrounding marital rape. First and foremost, marital rape must be criminalized in the Penal Code without exceptions. This would send a clear message that consent is a fundamental right, regardless of marital status. Additionally, there must be greater public awareness and education on the issue to combat the entrenched cultural norms that perpetuate gender inequality and violence.

Legal reforms should be accompanied by strengthened support systems for victims, including better training for law enforcement, greater accessibility to legal aid, and the establishment of victim-centered processes that prioritize their safety and well-being. Moreover, the government must invest in public awareness campaigns to challenge the societal acceptance of marital rape and educate the population on the importance of consent and sexual autonomy.

Marital rape in Sri Lanka remains an under-addressed issue that exposes the country’s legal and social deficiencies in protecting women from sexual violence. Despite the growing global recognition that marital rape must be treated as a crime, Sri Lanka has yet to fully criminalize this form of abuse. By critically examining the legal and social landscape surrounding marital rape, this study highlights the barriers to reform and calls for comprehensive legal changes that prioritize the protection and empowerment of victims. The path forward requires not only legal reforms but also a shift in societal attitudes that acknowledges and respects the autonomy and rights of women in marriage. It is only through these combined efforts that marital rape can be effectively addressed in Sri Lanka, providing justice and support for those affected.

Discernment Is The Feminine Power

I reflect on creativity and its cycles. I think of the phases of the Moon, and the ebbing and flowing of tides; and of the entire life cycle of all the growing plants which surround us, from seeds through buds and flowers and fruit. Women and the feminine energy we embody prompt and nurture the qualities of rejuvenation and resurgence, and renewal.

Where our capacity to choose has been diminished or degraded, or denied, the world itself loses its worth and value. The quality of the life we live, the beauty of its design, comes from the exercise of our discernment.

We choose who we collaborate with, in life, and love and work. We choose our partners and we choose how we raise and teach our children. We choose who we elect to govern us. We choose by instinct, and experience, as well as reason and wisdom, and it is our everyday acts of discernment which guide the quality of the life human beings live, on Earth. We select the seeds after each harvest which will be planted for the next Spring. We sort through the clothes and choose the linens for lighter or heavier weight, according to the seasonal variations in temperature. The quality of our collective sleep determines the health and vitality we all bring to the next day. We are the heart of the home; and the pulse of the body of every household.

We bring dispersed and forcibly scattered things together, weave straw into gold, make nourishing meals out of remnants and leftovers, decorations out of shards, and scenes out of elements. We are alchemists, and creation flows through us, from the roots in the ground, through our flowering crowns.

We make everything grow, and spring into life, like Queen Midases: every dry and spent and withered thing turns living green, in contact with us. From fragments, we weave, and we make what we are presented with into an entirety. We repair, we mend, we reset fractured bones and bring the dysregulated world into finer alignment, so it can heal, and renew.

We are a poultice, and our work is applied to the world, to draw out its toxins, and remedy its poisons. What radiant energy emanates from women! We leave a trail of glitter and sparks on the cold and broken, barren ground; and what we touch, comes to life.

We enable the human race to reset itself. We pick and choose. In our gaze, the disrespect and indifference of the manmade world falters. Cruelty folds in on itself, and reveals its utter littleness. We bring what has been pushed to the margins and the shadows, and reclaim the narrative back into the conversation, around the central hearth. We restore what has been interfered with, and set the tables for the feasts of life, whether simple or extravagant. We celebrate.

We learn to embrace our own seasons, and by doing so appreciate the inevitability of the rise and fall of all the energies available to us. We see and feel in the fullness of each life stage the silhouette and shadow of the cycle to come. With this ability, we are transformative, wondrous beings, choosing - with our divine discernment - the shape of the future.

We are not the power behind the throne. We are the power which should be openly recognised, suffusing every coronation. To affirm this today is to mandate our full political representation: to assert that women’s rights are majority rights, to give access to girls and women, to have authority to make decisions about their bodies and their minds through reproductive rights and educational awareness, skills and capacities.

Power is curved, creative, self renewing and female.